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I ache everywhere, I'm sticky, dirty, and so, so, embarrassed.
I do exactly what Reiks predicted last night.
I run.
CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO
THE KEEP
Iknow where his dressing room is, and there's a reason he keeps a supply of female clothing here. I hobble to the vast walk-in closet and, not bothering to look at what they are, I pick the first pants and top I find. They fit perfectly over my strong legs, and are even long enough to cover my ankles. Usually, I have to order my trousers custom for that kind of fit. The top's simple; short sleeved and black, but made of ridiculously soft material.
I'm still disgustingly sweaty and sticky with body fluids I refuse to identify. Poor clean, luxurious clothes. I'll have them laundered as soon as I get back. I don't find any shoes my size in his ample collection of stupid boots, so I fly out of there barefooted. At least I'm spared the embarrassment of having to face him.
What the ever fucking hell was that, last night?
I've fucked before. There's a lot of rutting going on in the Darklands, because we demis tend to find the matter of physical release a lot simpler than the commons. Yet, in my entire life, I've never once been fucked like that.
I shake my head and rush to the tower, shedding the borrowed clothing before hopping in my bathtub. My sore muscles appreciate the warmth of the bubbly water I let myself soak in for I don't know how long. Every ache reminds me of being touched, kissed, rubbed. My pale skin doesn't tend to bruise easily, and when it does, the shadows fade in mere hours at most, but I see light red marks around my waist, on my arms. I don't doubt I've left marks too. Furrows on his back. My mouth might have bitten his shoulder a little, I don't know. I don't want to know. I'll die of shame if I let myself think about it anymore than I already have.
I get out of the bath, dry myself, and arrange a ride home. On the way, I try to study, but my mind keeps wandering back into dangerous territory.
Reiks might have broken a part of me last night. My independence. He's right. I can't get what I want from anyone else. Not because of the mind-blowing, incredible sex, but because he alone is able to help me control my power. Now I'm aware of this, I doubt I can stay away.
Know, in your heart, that I’m the only one in this world who can give you what you crave.
I know that, and it is terrifying. I didn't even join a circle last night, yet my magik's still and silent inside me. I'm in control.
The chartered hovercraft cost an absolute fortune, but I reach the edge of the thick dark woods in a couple of hours. I should be excited to get home. Most of the family should be in residence thanks to yesterday's festival, and that's always fun. I have several cousins around my age, and the little ones are adorable, too. I love spending time with them.
So why do I feel like I'm running away instead of coming home?
We drive over the thick foliage of the familiar twisted trees until we're deep in the forest. There are no gates marking the start of the Frejr domain—we've never needed them. Only a fool would venture so far in our territory unwelcome.At last, we reach the vale where Valina and Alessandre built their stronghold.
The white stones are covered in ivy and crowned by blue tiles. I know each tower, each open hall supported by sculpted columns, each domed chamber. The inner garden's warm all year-round, and the plain surroundings’ ice rink never melts so that my younger cousins can throw each other snow balls whenever they feel like it. The orchard's pitch-black fruits are either so wholesome they can grant immortality or so vile they kill at the first bite, depending on the hour they're picked. The gold grapes make a wine so delightful some have negotiated their firstborn for another taste. This is a land of impossible powers, and yet all day and night, there are songs and dances. All of the wild folk are welcome. The great stag lording over the beasts of the wood comes to rest and drink at our fountains when his mind is troubled. He brings his young each year, so that they may be blessed by Valina Frejr, daughter of Khaos.
I pay the brave driver who cranes his neck to take a peek, and walk out of the hovercraft.
As long as I can remember, all of my worry dissipated whenever I step a foot in the dark keep.
Not today.
"Lyss! Auntie Lyss!"
Lolly runs faster than any of the children bursting out of doors, her wild dark curls flying behind her, and she launches herself into the air, fully expecting me to catch her. I do, but we still fall backward on the grass with a shared laugh.
"Caught you!" she screams, though I'd argue I caught her. "You're the wolf." She leaps to her feet and runs away, yelling at the top of her lungs, alongside a dozen of my youngest cousins.
I don't have any choice. I growl as loud as I can muster, and take chase.
The little monsters are fast, and my body's still in pieces, but I do manage to catch the youngest, Ravor, close to one of the entrances of the house. "Gotcha. You're the wolf now."
I feel zero shame about besting a five-year-old.
Ravor howls enthusiastically, happy to claim his role, and sets off after his cousins. Huffing, I finally walk inside.
I shouldn't be surprised to see Valina leaning against the wall, a smirk firmly in place. "Someone didn't come home last night." She cracks a smile. "Tell me you've been naughty."
Attempting to conceal anything from her is pointless, and honestly? Dangerous. "You can't even imagine how much."
