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I lick my finger clean, wishing I could have more of the delightful starter, when Reiks brings his spoon to my mouth.
I hesitate. The food is worth a little silver discomfort, but letting him feed me would play into his fallacy more than I care to.
I shake my head. “If there are thirteen courses, I’d better pace myself. Besides, you should try it. It’s really very good.”
“Perhaps I’m hoping to hear you moan again.”
I roll my eyes, wishing he’d tone down the nonsense. “I’m not going to fall at your feet for a few pretty words you repeat to all the girls, Reiks.”
“It’s funny you assume I usually have to say any words.”
Our plates are replaced as soon as he clears the last of his. Each course is more delightful than the last, and his court watches our every move.
If this life of his isn’t one of the purgatories in the deepest circles of the shadoworld, it's something quite like it. I couldn’t stand the constant stares during the most menial of tasks.
I think I finally understand his motivation, at least a little. I just wish he could have found himself another doll to parade.
I keep eating with my bare hand like a savage, expecting Reiks to call me out on it, but he doesn’t care. I try not to like him a little more for it, but I do.
When the eleventh hour strikes, the throng of nobles dissipates, and Reiks frees me.
I notice he’s still at his desk. An official document bearing the Anderkanian sigil has replaced his history paper. He frowns at it, giving it all of his focus.
“You’re sure you don’t need any help?”
Reiks’s gray eyes flash with something I might have interpreted as malice, before we met. Now I know he’s teasing. “I could use a release, feather. If you’d like tohelpwith that, by all means, come over here. Otherwise, you’re free to go.”
He’s joking, I know that. Still, I never moved so fast. I’m out of the room before he starts to chuckle.
Jerk.
CHAPTERELEVEN
THE MONSTER
That night, I swim. I’m mentally exhausted, but my body’s restless, at war with itself. The exertion helps a little.
Valina believes the reason why swimming is my best recourse when my mind runs astray is because water is the first primal force I was called to wield.
I was found at sea, only days old, according to Valina. She saved me and brought me to her home, in the depth of the Darklands, to determine my fate. Her granddaughter, Estelle, claimed me. Unmarried, and with no intention to ever let a man close enough to bear his seed, she rather liked the thought of being a mother, so I was entrusted to her.
I was spoiled, adored, cared for. And I was also watched. While the reason why I had been all alone in the sea was entirely undetermined, Valina doesn’t doubt where I came from.
There’s only one shore close enough to the Darklands for anyone to swim from. There is only one kind of creature who could have made the crossing as a newborn without drowning. I’m not a Frejr by blood. I am something muchworse.
Swimming keeps the monster at bay. For a time.
I sleep well for the first time in days and wake up refreshed, maybe because there’s no raven screaming at me.
Guarded by two half-imp warriors, I walk to the clinic where I intern, and spend the entire Strejaday doing what I can to help wounded, sick common folk.
Talon doesn’t appear to require my presence at Reiks’s side that Baltaday, so I spend my morning volunteering at the library as I usually do, then I drive with my cousins to the edge of the Darklands and disappear into the wood.There, I dance for almost three days straight, as I generally do on weekends.
Dancing helps. I’m no fae, but whatever bloodline runs in my veins, I understand their kind. Their needs are determined by older rules, back from when the barrier between nature and magik was thinner. They want to dance so that they may forget everything—especially their names—for a time, and so do I.It works nearly as well as swimming.
I return to school with my cousins on Raverday morning, just before my common anatomy class, and the circle of nonsense resumes for another week.Classes. Swimming. Reiks. Swimming again. More classes.
As we draw closer to Lughnasadh, the other part of me drums deeper in my chest, wanting out. I stockpile distractions to ensure I can ignore my instincts, myneeds.
