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ALLIE
Knowing that Mom was bound to get sick this morning, like she had every morning lately, I set my alarm for three a.m. and snuck out into the hallway before I could wake Jace. I didn’t want Mom to be in the bathroom alone, especially if Harlan woke up and decided to look for her.
Then, he’d find out that she was lying about me being pregnant.
If I had to lose sleep over this, then I would in order to keep Mom alive.
So, I slipped into the hallway bathroom to see Mom sitting in front of the toilet with her plush robe covered in puke. Tears streamed down her face, eyes puffy and red. I locked the door behind me, gave her some dirty clothes from the hamper to wear, and pulled off her puke-stained robe.
“Mom,” I whispered, chest tightening.
She looked so tired and not from the lack of sleep, but this constant charade we had to play because Harlan would murder us if we didn’t. And nobody would care if he did, especially because the chief of police cared only about money. He must have hidden Jace’s mother’s murder.
“I’m fine, Allie,” she said, clutching her stomach. “I’m fine.”
After glancing at the door, I crouched by her side. “I have something to ask you,” I whispered into her ear, pulling some hair behind her shoulders and tying it with a hair elastic so nothing would get in her hair too.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“Did you … cheat on Harlan?” I asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Mom froze and looked back at me. “Do you think I’d do something like that?”
My lips curled down into a frown. “No, but … Jace told me that Harlan had a vasectomy.”
All the blood drained from Mom’s face, tears welling up in her eyes. “No, he didn’t. He couldn’t have. I … I don’t believe it. He never told me about it. If he finds out that I’m … I’m pregnant, he’ll really kill me, kill us.” She rubbed a hand over her face. “I need to figure something out.”
“How are you pregnant? What happened? Is he … doing something to you?” I asked, thinking back to how Nicole’s father had been pimping out the entire cheerleading squad. If he and Harlan were friends, maybe Nicole’s father had done something to Mom too.
But how would that explain him killing his first wife for cheating?
“Honey, you have to believe me when I tell you that I would never cheat. I can’t … I can’t tell you what happened right now,” she said, placing a hand over her mouth to stop a whimper. “I’m too ashamed.”
“Mom, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” I said to him. “Please, tell me.”
“Not now,” she snapped. “Please, not now.”
After stepping back, I nodded and heard something creak in the hallway. I peeked my head out the door to see nothing and shut the bathroom again.
“I have another question, completely unrelated too actually. Before Dad died, did he ever talk about anyone named Kai Koh?” I asked, running the sink water so nobody would hear Mom throwing her guts up at three in the morning on a school night.
Mom tensed for a brief moment, then turned back to the toilet and puked more. “Lord, I want this to be over. I had too much morning sickness with you. I can’t do this again for two more months.” She looked back up at me. “I don’t—”
Someone knocked on the bathroom door, and we froze.
“Sweetheart,” Harlan called from the hallway, acting freaking nice, like we all didn’t know what kind of psychopath that man really was. “Sweetheart, are you in there?”
Almost instantly, she widened her eyes in fear, tears filling them to the brim.
I coughed over the running water and whimpered. “Mom, I-I’m going to puke,” I said, acting the best I could to get Harlan not to come in.
“Harlan, I’ll be out in a few minutes. Allie is getting sick,” Mom called, putting her head in the toilet and puking up some liquid that seemed like the last of her sickness for tonight. She cursed to herself, quickly swished some mouthwash around in her mouth, and spit it out, taking my hand.
I flushed the toilet and clutched my stomach, acting as if I were sick, and walked out into the hallway, where Harlan stood in a pair of sweatpants and a nightshirt, lips pressed together and a scowl written all over his face.
Mom squeezed my shoulders and ushered me down the hall. “I’m going to get you a glass of warm milk, sweetie. I used to drink some every morning in my first trimester with you. It’ll be all right.”
“Sweetheart,” Harlan said tensely behind us.
We stopped in the middle of the hallway, and Mom glanced back. “Yes?”
Harlan smiled at her, evil intent under it, and stepped between us. “I’ll get it for Allie. Why don’t you go lie back down? We have to get up early tomorrow, and you’ve been getting up every night this week.”
At that moment, I feared that Harlan was onto something. He wasn’t stupid.
“I want my mom,” I said, brows furrowed together and clutching my stomach. I did my damn best to have tears well up in my eyes, too, because I fucking needed answers from Mom as soon as humanly possible. “Please, I need her. Just a glass of milk, Harlan. Just one.”
Halfway to the kitchen, Harlan tightly grabbed Mom’s arm and mine. “Then, why don’t we all get some milk and relax? It’s been a long night for all of us, hasn’t it?” He looked over at Mom with a tight smile, as if he knew something that we didn’t know. “Hasn’t it, sweetheart?”
“Yes, Harlan,” she said. “It has.”
