Page 68 of Around the Bend

Jess fulfilled Myles’s wishes by taking his ashes to be buried next to his daughter Hailey. The other half, she spread in the ocean exactly three months to the day he died—she purposely waited as long as she possibly could, but made deadline according to the wishes in his letter. She even went a step further and hand delivered the letter he’d written to his ex-wife, if for no other reason than so she could convey the things to her that she knew Myles had always wanted to say—which summed up were— that he had really loved her and their daughter, and that he’d always wanted to be what she’d wanted him to be—and that he spent a lot of time being sorry that he wasn’t.

As for Jess, personally, she did finish that novel, as well as many others. In the years that followed, she poured every ounce of heartache she possibly could into her work and it turned out, for the most part, well for her. She may not have realized it then but from the day he asked her to write it, it was always him she wrote to... then and every day since. Every single word written was written with him in mind. He was and always would be her ideal reader, so to speak—for he believed in her long before she believed in herself.

There were many days she sat and stared at the bend of her property and swore she saw him coming around it. There were times where she thought if she just focused hard enough, she could make it so and days where she was certain it was actually him she was seeing. In any case, she hopes she has done Myles proud. She hopes that she has honored him and his life and that through her maybe a piece of him has lived on in some way.

One year to the day of his death, Jess created a non-profit organization in his honor that provides soldiers returning to civilian life not only clothing but the necessities they would need to make the transition easier for them. She never forgot that conversation with Myles about burning Spencer’s clothing—about all that was spoken and all that was left unsaid. There was a certain level of forgiveness and acceptance that he possessed that was like nothing she’d ever known. It has been her greatest hope that the foundation she created in his honor would carry that message forward.

About three years following his death, Jess was at a charity fundraiser when she ran into the man Myles had named as his father. Jess sauntered right up to him and asked him if he’d had any idea what he’d missed. She told him of his son and his life and the amazing man that he was, and judging by the look in his father’s eyes as he stared back at her, she found some sense of closure in that deep down a part of him had understood. For it was the same look that she’d often seen written across his son’s face, a look that she missed more than words could or would ever convey.

Ultimately, Jess owed Myles Ingram everything. He taught her how to love again—how to love herself, how to want more, how to demand it, and how to execute. He taught her to wait for that which was worth waiting for and to fight for what is worth fighting for. He taught her about sobriety, and discipline, about feeling pain, and learning to live with it and in spite of it. But most importantly, he taught her what real love is. And as much as she would have liked to find a love like that again, the truth is she never has. Maybe someday… she hasn’t ruled it out…

The great lesson of Myles for Jess would always be that sometimes people come into our lives for reasons we may not understand at the time, but that these people end up changing the course of our lives—forever and for the better. And no matter how long they end up staying—whether it’s for a long time or a very brief period, these people matter, and that honoring them and what they stood for is the most important work of one’s life. His love taught her to keep going, for it is the only choice there is. It proved that pain, addiction, and ultimately, loss, as hard as it is to live with, and as bad as it sucks, has nothing on the power of love.