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I always wanted a family of my own and I thought I had to settle for what I could find.
But Buzz’s touch doesn’t ignite fire under my skin. He never managed more than lukewarm, and my pulse never pumped at the sight of him.
Well, maybe it went up a few notches when I caught sight of him getting a blowjob from my maid of honor.
But he never, not even once since we started dating, made me feel much more than affection. But never the butterflies inside my tummy or the flutter of my heartbeat that should come with love.
When I caught Buzz and Shana on my wedding day, I did feel a lot of things—anger, hurt, fear of the unknown, and disappointment. But if I was being honest, heartbreak never sat on the list.
And staring at him now, I feel a wave of relief. Thank goodness this man isn’t my husband. If I’d married him, I would have totally missed out on…
My gaze swings to Ryder.
Emotion after emotion fills me and those damn butterflies I wanted, well they are taking the castle by storm.
I don’t have to dig to figure out what I am feeling when around him.
What do they say about time apart and love? It only makes it stronger. Well, ten years seems like nothing and we picked right back up where we left off and then some.
“What do you need, Beautiful?” Ryder askes, the gravel of his voice brushing over my skin in a soft caress.
God, God, God.How could someone who looked like such a complete badass be so sweet?
“Kandy, whoisthis guy?”
Geez. What a whiner.
“He’s none of your business. You lost any right to question anything going on in my life the second you let Shana suck you off.”
“God, I’m sorry, Kandy. Sorrier than I can ever tell you.”
Something about the pain in his tone gets through to me, and suddenly I have a thought about why he was here. “Things not going so well with Shana?”
My question opens the floodgates. “Kandy, she’s the most heinous person I’ve ever met. I guess I never spent much time with her before…before…well, before.” He gestures in front of his zipper and pumps his fist back and forth.
Classy. I hold up my hand. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m going to stop you right there, Buzz. I definitely don’t need details or the…visual after working all weekend to erase you from my memory.”
Buzz drops his hand and gives me a sheepish look. “Sorry. But a few months ago she started to come onto me whenever I ran into her. She’d say things like how I was going to disappoint you on our wedding night. How there was nothing more boring than two virgins fumbling around in the dark. Told me I wasn’t going to be able to…you know, like, make you come. She offered to teach me.”
Well, there goes any sympathy or guilt. “So, Buzz, are you trying to tell me, the reason you cheated on me wasfor me?”
Buzz looks like a drowning man. “Exactly. She was helping me let off steam. For our wedding night. You know, so I wouldn’t blow before you got the chance to get off.”
He looks so pleased with his answer, for the first time in my life I am stunned into silence.
But Ryder fills the void for me—with big booming laughter. Shocked, I whip my head around to look at him. And sure enough, laughter shakes his shoulders.
“Dude, that’s got to be the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever heard.” Ryder shakes his head at Buzz. “It’s so bad, I almost feel sorry for you. I mean, I’ve wanted to punch you since before I even knew your name. But now, you sound so pathetic, I feel too bad for you. But damn you—”
Ryder breaks off and shakes his head. “Nah, I’m still going to hit you.”
Before I register his words, Ryder cocks his fist and lets it fly. He did it so effortlessly, it is almost like slow motion—his fist zipping through the air, landing on Buzz’s chin, and Buzz swaying and then toppling to the floor, out cold.
My jaw falls open, my eyes darting to Ryder’s face.
“Babe, you were really going to marry that guy?” With the flick of his fingers, he gestures to Buzz, still flat out on the floor.
I admit, it was tough to see the appeal at the current moment. “Ryder, he was the only guy my age. I thought he was my only chance at ever getting laid, having a family.”
