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“Let’s go.” She turns her back on me, grabs Sloane’s hand, and pulls my sister towards the elevator.
My father takes an appreciative glance at Mandy’s ass in her tight jeans. He then looks back at me to make sure I saw where he was looking. When he sees me watching him, his face lights up, and he gives me a triumphant grin. In that one look is everything I hate about him.
“You should have been more agreeable, son,” he lectures as he turns and heads towards the elevator. “Plus, go buy a suit. You look like a bum.”
As I watch the elevator doors close, I can barely move. I can barely breathe. I can’t believe she would choose them over me. I don’t understand.
****
Two hours later, there is a knock at the door of the basement. I’ve been trying to lose myself in working on putting together the model of the new tablet. I have the electronics covering my desk and the soldering iron in my hands. She knocks again even though the door is open. I know it is her, my pet, but I don’t look up to acknowledge her presence. My emotions have been festering, and now they are dark. My pet shouldn’t have gone. She shouldn’t have left me for that…jerk.
“Christian?” Mandy takes a few steps inside the door, but then stops. When I look up, she is leaning against the old conference table with her arms wrapped around her chest. I watch her take a deep breath. “Christian, we have to talk.”
She’s holding back from getting close to me. Her words and body language annoy me. It’s like she is trying to break up with me — probably to restart her relationship with Jered — but she can’t breakup with me because we are not in a relationship and we never were.
When she opens her mouth again to speak, I interrupt her. “Why did you go with him?!” I demand. My chest feels strained. It’s hard to breathe. I try as hard as I can to ignore the turbulent emotions I am feeling and keep most of my concentration on my soldering.
“I don’t know. Maybe I was making a point.” She starts pacing like she is too nervous to sit down. “I’m not your procession, Christian. You can’t use me. We have to agree—”
“You’re my pet,” I snap, jumping up from my chair. “You agreed. All these weeks, you’ve agreed.”
“I never agreed to being used. I…I thought…I don’t know what I thought, but I was wrong. Plus, all this started because you were blackmailing me! You had the tape of me masturbating.”
“So, it was just that?! All these weeks of fun were just because you were scared of getting fired?”
Our eyes meet. I can see that she is trying not to cry, but her face is red, and she looks angry, not sad. She starts pacing again.
“Yes! No. I don’t know, Christian. Things just happened.” She turns and glares at me. “What do you want from me? You treat me like a sex toy, not a girlfriend.”
“That’s because you’re not my girlfriend!” I yell.
Mandy steps back a bit. Her lips twist into a deep frown. Her little hands ball into fists. “What was all of this, then?” she asks coolly, gesturing to the whole room and implying every dirty act that we committed.
I remember them. I remember every touch, moan, grunt, and feeling. My imagination overloads with image after image of her face contorted in bliss and pleasure — calling my name, calling me sir. Those memories are so different from the woman who is standing before me.
Did she do that with him too? Will she do that with Jered again?
My heart is pounding. It hurts so badly; I just want to make the whole world stop. I can’t lose her. I can’t feel this for her. I have to make this situation all go away. I have to make her go away, so I don’t hurt anymore.
As I look at Mandy, I can’t tell if there is a hint of disappointment in her brown eyes or just hate. The tension in my hands increases until the tops of them turn white. The logic board snaps in my one hand, sending pieces across the room. Putting my hands to my temples, I drop the graphics processor I was holding in the other.
“I don’t have time for this,” I snap as harshly as I can. “Look, Amanda, I don’t date. Feelings are a waste of time. Especially love! Relationships are too much compromise. I’m more into give and take situations. The girl gives, and I take, and that’s the end. If you’re not okay with that, then you don’t have to come down here anymore.”
I started off speaking strongly, but by the end of my speech, my words are just mumbles. I know that I’ve said this so many times before, but this time — with the horror I see in my pet’s eyes — I cannot stand my own words. I know that every word that I have said has been a mistake — a very bad mistake.
