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I find myself stuttering. “Christian said? I’m sorry. I have no idea who you are.”
He turns me and puts an arm around my shoulders like he is my new big brother. “I’m Rodney! You, sweet thing, have had the honor of setting up my desk, and I’m very thankful to you.”
I nod — the pieces starting to click in my mind — and let Christian’s second-in-command lead me toward Sloane’s office. Rodney still has his arm around my shoulder. His easy-going, friendly personality has me relaxed and smiling. Plus, if Rodney is here, then that explains Christian’s neglect.
“Are you moving in today?” I ask.
Rodney gives an exaggerated sigh. “Nope. The boss says he needs more time. Still!” He hugs my shoulders a bit and sets his head on top of mine for a minute as we walk. “I’d swear that he just wants more alone time with you, miss cutie, but we both know that it’s not the case. Sadly, my boy doesn’t date.”
My stomach drops. I want to stop and freeze, but I also don’t want to let Rodney know that I’m upset. I’m sure his comment wasn’t meant to be mean. He doesn’t know what the situation is between Christian and I. Hell, I don’t know what the situation is between us.
“He doesn’t date?” I squeak, annoyed at how desperate my voice is sounding.
Movement ahead of us catches my attention. I see the head of blonde hair I’ve been hoping to see all morning. He is standing outside of his sister’s office, talking to my friends. His back is turned to me, but I know that it’s Christian. I can feel his body in every cell of mine like it’s calling to me.
I want to yell at him for leaving my grandmother’s early and for leaving me unsure of what is going on. I, also, want to run into his arms, declare my love, and tell everyone we are together.
Next to me, Rodney sighs exaggeratedly. “Nope. I’ve known Christian for ten years, and he’s never had a girlfriend, just trysts. He has this stupid saying about feelings being a waste of time and that we should just use people then leave them when we get bored.” He shrugs with his arm still over my shoulders. “I don’t know how he does it. I fall in love with everyone I meet.”
I feel like I am choking, but I keep my movements and my face as normal as I can. There is no way that I can let on to Rodney or anyone else around that I suddenly feel like I am dying.
“That is sad,” I mumble.
As we continue toward Sloane’s office, Rodney leans his head on mine again. “I hope we can be friends Mandy. Christian said you were one of the coolest people here. That you’re always all smiles.”
I try to summon a smile to my face to prove him right. It feels like a strained grin, but I keep it plastered there. “Of course, I’d love to be your friend, Rodney.”
When we come up behind him, Christian turns around. He’s holding Mr. Pugsly in his arms and scratching the pup behind his ears. Watching him makes me want to faint. I know that I am in love with him. But if he hates feelings, he is not in love with me, and that thought is killing me.
Rodney throws up his arms and gasps. “There are pugs here! No one told me that there would be pugs here!”
I’m quickly forgotten as he scampers over to pet Ms. Puggle and introduces himself to Reese and Eileen. I’m left standing awkwardly by myself. My feet want to give way and let me sink down to the floor.
Christian turns towards me — I swear it is in slow motion. His face lights up, and he smiles. My chest warms. I start feeling like maybe we are okay, but everything that Rodney just told me keeps repeating in my head. I can’t let it get to me; I have to act cool. Taking a deep breath, I smile back at him and wander over.
“Did Rodney surprise you?” he asks, leaning close to my ear.
I know I should say something pleasant or casual. I’m going to act like I am not torn inside and dying to scream at him. I take a quick breath, intending on telling him how great his coworker is.
“You’ve never had a girlfriend?!”
My voice betrays me, as it usually does. My question is so loud that it echoes slightly across the accounting floor. Everyone turns towards us.
Christian’s eyes go big. He glances around at our little group, including Eileen and Reese, who are suddenly interested in our conversation — how could they not be when I was so loud? He opens his mouth to stammer a little but doesn’t quite form words. A slight flush covers his cheeks.
