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I flinch at the sound of my ex’s name. There are some things my grandmother doesn’t know, and I plan on keeping it that way. Old people can still buy guns.
“No, seriously,” I argue. “Nothing is going on with a boy and me. I’m just distant because I have a new job at work, and I don’t really like it.” I casually try to bite into one of the sandwiches she made me. There is no lettuce or mayo, so it really is hard to swallow.
“You’re out of accounting?”
Before I can answer, a whine brings my eyes over to the discarded cat carrier. Pumpkin is still trapped and not happy about it at all. I move to get up, but Bubby points back at my chair, insisting that I stay seated. She pulls herself up onto her narrow feet and pads over to let out my cat. I turn in my seat, watching her and eating another bite of my sandwich. I have to finish these things. If I didn’t it would be rude.
“No, I’m still in accounting,” I explain. “Just for the next week, I have to help the new partner set up his…area.”
Bubby heads into the kitchen with Pumpkin rubbing at her ankles and trying to trip the ancient woman. “His what?” she calls. I hear her opening the cabinets and banging them closed. Pumpkin is chatting up a storm. “I know I have tuna in here somewhere,” my grandmother mumbles. “Just a second, you good kitty kitty.”
“This new partner, he is setting up in the basement,” I explain. “He wants me to help him run computer cables…because I am small.” I mumble this last part.
“Damn, no tuna. Sorry, Punk.” Bubby shuffles back through the kitchen door. “I’ll get anchovies tomorrow at the dollar store.” Sitting back down, she looks at me. “So, what is the problem with that? Running cables might be fun. You could end up changing your whole job and finding new meaning in your life.”
I snort around my next bite of sandwich. “I don’t think running cables is lucrative.” My phone pings from inside my jacket pocket. I slide it out and look at the text message. “It’s Eileen. She and Ray are back from vacation early, but she is still taking tomorrow off.”
Bubby nods. She knows everything about my closest friends. Putting her hands under her chin and striking a pose, she tells me, “Tell Le Le to tell that hot husband of hers that I am ready to be one of his cam girls.” She flutters her mascara clumped eyelashes.
Ray, Eileen’s husband, owns and runs quite a few sex-related websites. Including a few that host cam girls. It’s not something I ever thought I would be associated with, but given my desire to try out every vibrator on the market, I certainly could be helpful to Ray in other ways.
I roll my eyes at my grandmother. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. And please never talk that way to me ever again.”
“Prude.”
While sticking my tongue out at my grandmother, I text Eileen back and tell her that I can’t wait to see her at work later in the week. Finally, someone who will understand how not cool it is for me to be working down in the basement with the new hot boss.
Bubby slaps her hands on the table. The movement and sound get my attention. “Finish those sandwiches up. My group will be here any minute. Did you bring the earplugs like I requested?”
I have to stare at her a moment, figuring out what she is talking about. “Oh right, you are having a séance at eight. I suppose that is what all this is about?” I gesture to the new chairs and the table.
Bubby nods. “Keep Pumpkin in the guest room with you.” She leans down as far as she can to grab the cat, but Punk just slips out of her bony fingers and dashes into the kitchen like orange lightening.
I watch her go. “I will try, but she will likely yowl. Won’t that scare your new ghost away?”
“New ghost?” She turns and blinks at me.
“Yeah.” I shrug and swallow the last dry bite of my second sandwich. “I thought séances were your new obsession. And why eight? Shouldn’t they be held after dark or at midnight?”
My grandmother shakes her head. A tiny wisp of bleached-blonde hair escapes her turban. She eyes it then tucks it back in. “Nonsense. Your grandfather likes to go to bed early.”
I feel my eyebrows shoot up and look at her wide-eyed. “Bubby, Grandpa has been dead for over forty years. I never even met the man.”
She shrugs just as there is a knock at the door. “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to know what is happening with your life. Kin is kin. I’ve been giving him updates every Tuesday since the day you were born.” She points to the kitchen as a second knock hits the door. “My séance group is here. Get that cat and go to the guest room. Grandfather and I have a lot to discuss.”
