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“So what do we do?” I asked him.
“Wedon’t do anything.” He said resolutely. “I have hundreds of people contracted right now to find who did this. So right now, you just have to be patient with me while I figure this all out. And in the meantime I want you to just stay calm and try really hard to not let it scare you too much.” I snorted in disbelief, and he chuckled in my ear. “Just think of it this way baby. You’re stuck with me now, even more than before. Where you go, I go. What you do, I do. You’ve got yourself a new shadow.” He joked.
“I don’t mind having you attached at my hip Mav, I just don’t want to do it out of fear.” I said sadly. “I’m tired of living my life based on someone else’s actions.”
“I know.” He said. “I know baby.”
We laid there like that for quite a while in the silence. Both of our heads were spinning with unanswered questions and concerns, and I finally just needed a break.
“I’m getting more snacks.” I said, pulling myself from Maverick’s arms. “Want another peanut butter cup?” I asked him with a sly smile on my face.
He laid his head back on the pillow and smirked. “I ate all of mine.”
“Good thing I knew you would and got you more than I told you.” I kissed his nose and walked back into the kitchen where the bag of snacks, that I’d somehow managed to keep locked in my clutches while I ran for my life, laid on the counter.
Apparently I value a few things in my life, and snacks are one of them.
I dug around in the bag, looking for but not finding what I wanted so I tipped it over and dumped all of the candy and snacks out onto the counter. Amongst the pile of goodies was a small box I’d totally forgotten that I’d bought in the convenience store that day.
A pregnancy test.
I’d picked it up, figuring it’d be good to have on hand if my period turned out to be late but hadn’t thought about it again since everything happened.
As I stood at the counter, I was suddenly torn about what I wanted in terms of pregnancy. I’d been so happy and excited to try to get pregnant before, but now, knowing someone had tried to kill me, the prospect of carrying a little defenseless life inside of me, terrified me.
If I couldn’t even protect myself, how was I going to protect an unborn baby?
I hated that someone was able to taint the joy we’d been living off of while trying to get pregnant, and it left me… angry.
“Maverick.” I called, staring down at the box on the counter. “Come here for a second, please.”
A moment later my husband walked into the kitchen, looking perfectly content to be summoned by me and walked around my back to wrap his hands around my stomach and hold me. “What is it?”
I held the pregnancy test up and showed it to him, looking over my shoulder. “I forgot I’d bought this the other day, with all of the snacks.”
He took the box from my hand, like looking at it closer would give him the answers he wanted to know. “Your period is due tomorrow right?” He asked, we’d talked about it so much lately he was paying attention to my cycle.
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to take one now?” He asked, and I couldn’t miss the excitement in his voice, and it broke my heart. I dropped my head into my hands and shook my head back and forth as I lost the hold on my emotions. I hadn’t cried about the attempt on my life, I’d compartmentalized it like if I didn’t think about the pain of it, then it wouldn’t hurt.
But now that dam had broken free, and tears poured out of my eyes.
“Hey.” Maverick said softly, throwing the box onto the counter and picking me up, turning me around to sit on the counter as he stepped between my legs and pulled me into his arms. “Hey, don’t cry baby. Please don’t cry.” He begged, squeezing me tight as my cries turned to sobs.
“I’m sorry.” I said, hiccupping and holding onto him tighter.
“Shh.” He said lovingly, running his hands up my back and soothing me until I was able to control the sobs and calm down. “Talk to me.”
“I’m terrified that if I’m pregnant, something bad will happen to the baby because of whatever that person was doing when they tried to hurt me. What if something happens to our little baby because of us?” I asked, looking up into his strong and steady eyes like he’d have all of the answers for me.
“I can’t promise you that something won’t happen Cora. I wish I could.” He said, closing his eyes like it pained him to admit that he didn’t have control of the world. “But I can promise you that we’ll do our very best to protect our family. I’ll protect you.”
I shook my head. “I was so excited to take a test, but now I’m just… afraid.”
“I know.” He said, validating my feelings. “Me too. But I’m still excited if I’m being honest.” He leaned down so I had to look at him and he had a small smile on his face, and it warmed my heart. “Tell me you still want to have a baby with me.”
“I still want to have to your baby Mav.” I said instantly, not hesitating out of fear or anything else. “I do.”
