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“Mrs. Jones.” My doctor said, eyeing Dexter as he sulked back to his chair next to me guilty. “Are you ready to finally see this little one?” She asked and I took a deep breath.
“As I’ll ever be.” I said and laid back on the table as she lifted my shirt to bare my stomach and covered it with warm gel.
“Here we go.” She said and placed the wand against my skin, moving it around until a teeny tiny little baby showed up in black and white and I was transported through time.
We’re going to be parents!
The primal, alpha part of me, needs to see you with our baby in your arms.
A home full of little feet to fulfill you and love you back in the purest way known to man.
Those were the things that Maverick had promised me, before he walked out of my life in the exact way he vowed he’d never do.
Dexter grabbed my hand and held it tightly in his and brought me back to the present as I watched my baby wiggle on the screen and a happy smile crested my lips.
“Wow.” I whispered and my doctor looked down at me with a smile on her own face before turning back to the monitor.
“You’re measuring right on scale based off your last period. Little baby here has a strong heartbeat.” She said before pulling it up and a second later the noise of it’s heart filled the room and tears ran down the sides of my face into my hair. “Everything looks perfect.” She said, printing off an arm’s length of pictures and handing them to me. I stared in awe at them as Dexter said something to the doctor and a moment later she handed him another strip of pictures.
I pulled my eyes away from my baby to eye him suspiciously, “Why do you get pictures of my baby?” I questioned.
“Because I can’t be their favorite uncle if I don’t start my brag board now.”
“Brag board?” I asked, snorting at his ridiculousness. “What the heck is brag board?”
But he just shushed me as the doctor went through more information about my baby and what to expect in the coming weeks.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of actual unrecognizable joy as I thought about my baby growing big and strong inside of my belly. Dex took me to lunch and spent the rest of the day with me in my shitty apartment, eating all sorts of take out that he ordered, conveniently leaving it all in my fridge when he left, and watching trashy reality tv with me until well past ten pm.
As I crawled into bed I had a sense of purpose pumping through my veins when I laid my head down on my pillow and pressed my hands to my belly. “I love you little one, and I’m going to find a way to do this right for you. With or without your daddy.” I whispered into the darkened silence of my apartment.
Chapter 27 – Maverick
I sat in the dark of my hotel suite living room, holding a glass of bourbon in my fingers staring into the fireplace as the liquor numbed my thoughts and feelings.
It was the only constant in my life lately.
I went to work when I needed to, which had been less than a dozen times in the last two months. I ate when the pain in my stomach got so bad I was left with no choice. And I drank almost constantly.
It was the only thing that made living without Cora bearable.
Because walking away from her that night in my parent’s kitchen had been the single most painful thing I’d ever done before.
And I’d done some fucked up shit in my day.
But that took the cake.
I thought I had been doing the right thing at first, trying to distance myself from Cora so she would stop being hurt because of me. And I’d held true to that belief for a while, a few weeks at least.
But then the resolve had started to fade and the ache I’d buried deep in my chest burned painfully bright, leaving me second guessing everything.
But by then, too much time had passed and I didn’t know how to convince her that I was worthy of her when I didn’t feel worthy of her anymore.
So instead of going to her and trying to beg her for forgiveness I sat alone in my hotel suite and drank myself into an early grave.
Cora’s family was arrested the night of the fundraiser on conspiracy to commit murder charges, as well as fraud and a laundry list of other crimes that would hopefully put them behind bars for a very long time. Her brother Jake, turned on everyone else, his wife included, and struck a deal with the DA to save his own ass. As long as they all paid for what they did to her, I didn’t care. I didn’t have the capacity to care about anything else anymore.
Reid showed up at my suite some nights, silently sitting with me and drinking with me before he’d get up and wordlessly walk back out until the next night he’d showed up. It was like he didn’t know what to say or do, and decided to at least physically be at my side, even if he didn’t have anything else to offer me in the moment.
