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And, in a way, what I had lived through for six months had been all on me. Knowing I could’ve overpowered Tillman in a second had given me a strange sense of invincibility. I was never worried he might harm me physically, but I wasn’t prepared to have my heart torn apart.
“He was controlling. Wait... that’s not right...” I shook my head as the truth sank in. “I allowed him to set rules. I didn’t question anything. I made the mistake of thinking if I didn’t push, if I let him have his way on everything, he’d be happier with me. But I wasn’t afraid of him. At the same time, I hadn’t found the courage to walk away. When I left him, it wasn’t because of what hedidto me, but because I’d trusted him and believed every promise he’d made me, and he’d failed to keep even one.”
Seff moved again, sitting up and adjusting me, so I sat on my knees, straddling his waist. He grasped my hands, lacing our fingers together as he pressed his forehead to mine.
“I’m not that kinda male, Des. I swear to you, I will never make you, or Nereida or Arteisma, a promise I don’t fully intend to keep.”
Me...or the twins.
A rush of emotions slid through me, feelings I’d never felt toward any other male. My heart melted. My eyes burned with tears. And I wanted to laugh with joy.
I nodded and whispered back, “I swear to you, Seff, mysakana, by all the ancient gods, to promise you the same.”
His lips came to mine, and in another smooth move, he had me on my back. I held him tight as our mouths moved together in soft kisses that promised so much more.
The low rumble of male voices drifted in through the door from down near the cookhouse.
My stomach sank. They were waiting for Seff.
He brushed his fingers through my hair. “You said you wished we would’ve met under better circumstances ’cause you’re not who you would’ve been.”
I nodded as I took a shuddering breath. Unfortunately, there was no cooling the heat between us.
“I gotta disagree with you there, darlin’.” His lips touched mine. “You’re everything I could ever want and so much more than I ever deserved.”
Our mouths fused in a deep, luscious kiss that left me completely breathless, panting and hungry for more.
He pushed up from the futon. “I gotta get going before I carry you to bed, tear off your clothes, and...” He jerked a glance up to the loft, then whispered, “Do all that stuff I’ve been dreamin’ of doin’.”
I smiled and nodded. “I know.”
He’d seemed more than willing to start our mated life together as a readymade family. Unless we could find Einar Ulven and convince him to give us custody of the twins, we’d have years to wait before the gods and the moon blessed us with an offspring of our own.
“Don’t give up, darlin’. We’ll find the twins’ great-grandpa. We’ll fix this.” His smile was soft and confident. “I promise.”
I reached up and traced a finger over the soft, short beard covering his jaw. “They’re waiting for you.”
His muscular chest expanded in a deep inhale. “You okay with me going?”
No.“Yeah.” I sighed.
He smiled and pulled an afghan over me. “Try to get some rest. I’ve got a make-out session planned for later.”
Even with the heavy afghan covering me, gooseflesh broke out all over my skin. “A make-out session? Is that all?”
He chuckled. “Not even.” Once again, he kissed me, stoking the fire he’d started only to leave me simmering with heat. “I’ll be back as quick as I can.”
