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“It’s not like that,” Ezra hisses back and I stay breathing softly, keeping my eyes closed as he untangles my body from his, leaving me feeling cold and no longer safe. “Not here, she’ll wake up, she hasn’t slept.”
They leave the room, arguing under their breaths and the door clicks shut behind them. My heart races as I consider what just happened.
She’s going to think we’re having an affair; I should have backed him up and said something.
I need to stop being such a coward.
I climb out of bed, my bare feet hit the cold wooden floor.
Stretching tall, I click my spine and prepare myself for the moment to come. What will I say to her about how she found us? How will I explain that we’re just friends? Is that what we are? Have I been lying to myself?
I’ve never been inappropriate with him, or I’ve tried not to be. Sometimes things happened, odd touches and looks that could be construed as intimate, but what happened last night has never happened before. She must know I was just looking for comfort and Ezra offered it. What was he doing here in the middle of the night anyway? Did she call him? She never promised she wouldn’t. It was unfair of me to ask her to lie to her son and unfair of me to come here at all.
It’s unfair on Mrs. Conti, Ezra’s wife. I should never have held him all night, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep beside him. Did he sleep too?
The door creaks as it opens, making me wince. I move to the stairs and lightly step down them on the tips of my toes. I can hear them talking in hushed tones in the kitchen.
I pass family photos and artwork, one being of Ezra and Mrs. Conti on their wedding day. It sends a chill down my spine. How would I feel if I was her, finding out my husband had comforted another woman in bed all night, not knowing what they did together? Having to trust their honesty based on their word, wondering if they’re having a joke at my expense, laughing in bed together at how foolish I am.
But Izabella’s words stop me in my tracks. Words I should never have heard.
“How long have you been in love with her, Ezra?” she asks and my hand flies to my mouth.
He’s not in love with me, that’s a ridiculous idea. We were just hugging.
He confirms my inner monologue by replying, “I’m not in love with her… I have a family. I love my wife.”
His words stab me, a contradiction to all my other feelings on infidelity and marriage vows. How can I in one moment say how bad I feel for ever contributing to his wife’s unhappiness, in the same moment say how much it hurts me to hear that he loves her?
“I don’t doubt your love for your wife, but I can see your love for Rose just as clearly, maybe even more so. I can see it, Ezra, your father can see it… it’s only a matter of time before your wife sees it and Rose does too.” She pauses, he doesn’t argue, not yet anyway and I beg him to. I beg him to deny it. I beg myself to walk away so nothing has to change. “I know my son and I know when he loves.”
His voice is a whisper, I hardly hear it. “She’s thirteen years younger than me.”
“The heart doesn’t care for age.”
“I’m not…”
“Look at me in the eyes. Tell the truth to someone at least. Get it off your chest. Admit it to yourself so we can fix this and fix your family.”
There’s another pause and I hear what sounds like hands on the counter.
“Tell me, my son, are you in love with Rose?” his mother asks once more.
“I can’t help it. I try to help it but I can’t. I’ve never… she’s… she doesn’t feel the same and nothing has ever happened between us.”
OH MY GOD!
He’s in love with me? Oh my God.
“I believe you, but now we have to fix this.”
“How?”
“You have to let her go, for the health of your family. This is not fair on the woman you vowed a lifetime to.”
My heart pangs again, she knew already, this is why she’s okay with me quitting. She’s his mother first and my friend second.
He sighs heavily. “I know but… I can control it. I’ve been in control of it.”
“Desire cannot be controlled. You must put it out of sight. It is the only way. Transfer her to somebody else, to a different branch. Before it is too late and you both do something that will destroy everything you’ve built.” I hear her step forward. “Rose is very sweet, very naïve, and right now she’s looking for comfort. She has been through so much. Don’t add an illicit affair to her list of problems.”
