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Chapter 8
Tracie
The past couple of weeks have been some of the best in my life. Vera and Ed come back in a few days and I have been riding into town in the mornings with Reyn. I never thought I would be as close to someone as I am with him. It's scary to be this emotionally attached to someone when they could destroy your heart at any moment. Things are so good I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I guess it's just old insecurities that hold me back, but outside of the bedroom Reyn hasn't said anything about getting married or having children and I worry it's all just for the thrill of it when we're making love. People say things they don't always mean and it does make me so hot and turned on when he talks about putting a baby in my belly but he doesn't say anything afterward. He even asked me to make a surprise birthday gift for his sister so, in some ways, we have gone backward in the relationship and I just work for him again.
I would never deny Roxy anything and have been working morning and noon on it. My nights are spent either at his penthouse in the city or on his side of the lake when we go back. I think at some point in our relationship we are going to have to put a name to what we are and figure out where we want to go, but I hesitate to do it. What if he tells me he just wants to be boyfriend and girlfriend for now? Am I ok with him using promises of marriage when we fuck to make me hotter or do I ask him to stop if he doesn't mean it outside the bedroom? For all the rumors and misconstrued ideas about me I suck at relationships. Especially long term ones.
He picks me up and I find that we reach his penthouse sooner than I think we should but it's because I fell asleep in the car on the way here. He asks over dinner about the ring and I give him a guess as to when it will be done. When we make love it's much tamer than usual and I wonder if some of the sparks of newness have worn off? It's not that he treats me like he is just going through the motions or he's pulling away, but usually, my panties are ripped off and Reyn is throwing me around and moving me where and how he wants me.
I wait until the next night to say anything but when I ask he just chuckles and spends hours eating my pussy so that I pass out before I can even finish him. When I wake up in the morning, a note is by the bed telling me I need to eat something before I start for the day and that he got called away. Something about a meeting with a new business and some new tech that the company spearheaded being used. I try not to let it hurt me that he didn't even bother to wake me up for a kiss goodbye but I can't stop the tears when they slide down my cheeks.
He's pulling away from me and all I can do is watch. I drag myself into work and make a point to finish Roxy's ring just in case I'm not around after her birthday. Halfway through the day, my phone buzzes. It's Vera. Before I can stop myself, I'm blubbering and crying into the phone so hard she just hangs up and shows up at my shop.
I try to tell her what is going on but telling someone that you think the person you are with isn't into you anymore because they won't spank you or tear your underwear off is really fucking hard.
"I don't think me and Reyn are going to make it," I tell her on a big watery sigh, once she's got me semi-calmed down.
"Reyn and I."
I give her the death stare for correcting my grammar at a moment like this but before I can kick her out she keeps going. "What happened? Did you two have a fight? Is he being an ass?"
I shake my head but I can't bring myself to tell her why, even though she is my best friend.
"Did you catch him cheating because I will help you hide the body? No questions ask."
I am getting frustrated and finally, just blurt out, "He doesn't spank me like he used to," my face is turning beet red and wish I could melt into the floor when she stops talking and gives me a shocked look for all of a split second and then starts to cackle so hard I fear she may pass out from it.
Now that I am finally able to look at my best friend without tears streaming down my face I notice she has a tiny, almost incognito, baby bump that she puts her hand on from time to time. She’s just passed her first trimester and she's glowing. It makes it hard to stay mad at her or want her to be upset about anything.
Not that she seems all that upset.
"You think he doesn't want to be with you anymore because he's not smacking your ass and what? What else?" She's trying to catch her breath around the big peals of laughter bursting out of her.
"He just isn't the same. I can't really put my finger on it. Something has changed with him, he doesn't roughhouse with me the same way he did when we first got together."
I wait for her to say it's all in my head or to laugh again. But she doesn't, she sobers up and my lip starts to shake knowing that she isn't going to tell me it's all in my head.
"Do you think there's someone else now, that he's doing those things with, instead of you?"
I can't help but sob when she puts my fears into words. I don't want to go back to his penthouse with him and wait for him to get tired of me and tell me it's over. Or God forbid if he's trying to find the nicest way he can to tell me he's just not that into me anymore. I let her pull me close and spend the next few minutes sobbing uncontrollably on my bestie’s shoulder.
When she leaves I make my plans for the night and text Reyn that I will be staying with Vera for a little while just to catch up with her. I leave the ring with his doorman asking him to give it to him when he gets there so there won’t be a reason for us to see each other again if he doesn't want to. I figure this gives him his easy out and helps me start the process of picking up my life without him if he wants to take it.
It seems like it would have worked too, but as soon as I hit the door to my condo I'm weighed down with the exhaustion of a day spent crying and the hollowness of one too many skipped meals. I can't even remember if I locked the door behind me and don't stop to check. I just make my way to my lonely bed and think about how strange it is to be back in a place that used to be so familiar to me and is now all wrong. I hear my phone buzz but I don't bother to answer it. If the way the room spins is any indication, I may not be getting up for anything other than a quick bathroom run.
I try to lie as still as I can and think about the last time I actually ate anything and seem to recall it being dinnertime yesterday. Not having eaten and crying all day has probably gotten my system all jacked up. I must have dozed off because as soon as my eyes open I am aware of two things. The room is dark and I can only pray I make it to the bathroom in time or else I'm going to have to clean puke out of the carpet. Who the hell has white carpet anyway? What was I thinking?
When I'm done emptying out everything on my already empty stomach, I don't have the energy to pull myself up so I just lay my head on the side of the toilet and hope that whatever virus I have passes soon. I'm not feeling awful but I am certainly not jumping up and down with excitement. I think about getting my phone so I can call my mom to come over and be with me for a few days but then hands are on my back and a wet washcloth is on my forehead.
I jerk up and find a pair of steel grey eyes with mischief in them.
"Not really a great place for a nap, baby."
My temper starts to rise.
"How the hell did you know where I was at?"
