Page 35 of If I Could


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“Mom, you need to get more sleep.”

“You’d think so, but I’m just not tired. I finished a painting yesterday and started another one last night. It’s like I can’t stop. And I have to say, I’m loving it. Completely loving it!”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard her this excited. Moving to New York for the summer was a great idea. She’s loving it there and it’s been a good distraction to keep her mind off my dad.

“That’s great, Mom. Send me a picture of the painting.”

“I will. I took pictures of it last night because it’s being delivered to the gallery today.”

“They’re already showing your work?”

“Yes! Isn’t that wonderful? The first painting I did along with the one I just finished will be featured in the showing this weekend.”

“Mom, that’s amazing! Congratulations!”

“Itisamazing. I just wish you were here with me. I miss you, honey.”

“I miss you too. But there’s no room in Claire’s apartment and we definitely can’t afford our own place in New York.”

Claire, the friend my mom’s staying with, has a 600 square foot apartment. It’s just one room with a kitchen and living space that also serves as the bedroom. My mom is sleeping on the couch.

“We’ll see each other soon,” I say. “You’ll be back here teaching in a few months. September isn’t that far away.”

“That’s true.” I hear the disappointment in her voice. Does that mean she doesn’t want to come back? There’s no way she could stay there. Apartments are way too expensive and I’m pretty sure Claire doesn’t want a permanent roommate. “The time will go fast. It already has. I can’t believe it’s almost the middle of June.”

“Have you figured out where you want to live when you get back?”

“I may end up living with you in that house and doing the commute every day.”

“That’s an hour each way. And you don’t have a car. I thought the plan was to get an apartment on the bus line.”

“Everything’s up in the air until I sell a painting. And if I don’t sell one, then…” she sighs, “I don’t know what we’ll do.”

“Mom, you’ll sell one. I know you will. You’ll probably sell both of them. Did Claire say how much you might get?”

“She really doesn’t know. She said it depends on how people react when they see my work. If a lot of people are interested, she’ll price the paintings higher. If there’s little to no interest, they’ll be priced lower or removed from the gallery.”

“They’ll sell. I’ve seen your work and it’s awesome. Everyone’s going to want your paintings.”

“If they do, whatever money I make is going into your college fund. Obviously I’ll have to take some of it for living expenses but the rest is going to you. You’re so close, Sage. Just a few more classes.”

“I know. I’ll graduate. I promise.”

As we’ve been talking, I’ve been searching my closet for something to wear but can’t seem to make a decision. I don’t want to wear a dress or a skirt or Kyle might think it’s a date, so do I wear shorts? Or jeans? It’s hot out so if we sit outside, I’ll want to be wearing shorts.

“So tell me what you’ve been up to,” my mom says. “How’s work?”

“Same as always. It’s basically the same every day. Trust me, you have a way more exciting life than me right now.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I really wish you could be here. I feel terrible that you’re stuck living in a town where you barely know anyone.”

“It’s not that bad. I’m not complaining. I was just saying there’s not much to do here so I don’t really have anything exciting to tell you.”

“How’s Nina? Have you two been going out?”

“Yeah, we were out together last night. It was two for one burgers at Skeeter’s.” I laugh. “That’s about as exciting as it gets here. Oh, and Saturday there’s a fundraiser for the fire department.”

“Are you going?”

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