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“Lena and I were friends first. Met the summer she turned fourteen, and I was sixteen.”
My eyebrows raise.
“We were neighbors. My father owned a ranch much like this one, and Lena’s father worked with him. She’d walk over his lunch daily and then after a while would hang out around with me after I did my chores.”
He shifts on the bucket. “We were really close and at one time she had a thing for my older brother, Tom.”
I wince. “Ouch.”
Shelby chuckles, his barrel chest puffing out. “Yeah, well, Tom is six years older than me, so there was no way he was looking at her twice. But I did. Hard to be just friends with a girl like Lena. It took her four years of friendship with me to realize I was the one she wanted.”
“This doesn’t sound very comforting. I’ve already known Scar for fourteen—nearly fifteen years.”
“Listen. Turns out fear of ruining the friendship was on Lena’s mind, too. Fear is a powerful thing, son. It keeps people from truly living.”
My upper lip stings as I sink my teeth into the flesh. “I put myself out there. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t make her feel something she doesn’t feel and now I wish I had left it. I can ignore my feelings. For a long time, I have. What difference does it make now?”
“Give her time, son. The difference is she knows now. And she knows your worth. By golly, she’s been stuck to you like glue the last several years. She knows how important you are and whether she feels the same or not, she won’t leave you as a person. None of us will.”
Shelby parks his large, work-weathered tan hand on my shoulder and squeezes tightly. “We all know your worth, son. Tell me this. What would you normally be doing after a situation like this? Say, ten plus years ago?”
I swallow past the sharp boulder in my throat. “In a bar. I’d be in a bar, drinking myself into oblivion, only to wake up to the same bullshit the next day.”
“Yes, and look at you today. You’re here, talking through the problems you have. You can handle whatever is thrown your way. I’m so very proud of you. We all are. Even that suit-wearing brother of yours.”
A smile breaks out over my face, the tiny clouds of despair lifting. “If he dies before me and I somehow bury him in anything but a suit, ya think he’ll come back to haunt me?”
“I reckon that’s a guarantee.” Shelby laughs back, the crinkles by his eyes deep.
Standing up, I right the bucket and help the old man to his feet. “Thank you. I’m so grateful for you and all your help. I really mean it.”
He draws me in for a hug and I ease into the gesture, knowing I’ve done my best. I’ve become a man to be proud of. Now, I just need that damn perfect woman by my side. That’s all.
* * *
1.I’m grateful for words and I wished someone had gifted me better ones to let Scar know just how deep the well is for her. The word love seems so… lacking.
2. I’m grateful she knows. As fucking scary as it is to tell someone you love them, there’s freedom in the feeling. I’ll do my best to hold on to it.
3. I’m grateful Kellen revealed his true colors and Scarlett laid down the law. (She was so sexy when she did that.) That idiot never stood a chance. Also, he can’t handle any sort of fun. Come on, Rocky Mountain oysters aren’t that bad.
4. I’m grateful for my life and all the messiness that’s come with it. Even though I’m on the edge, waiting for Scarlett to talk to me about how she feels, I can’t regret the path my life has taken.
5. I’m grateful for Theo and Shelby, Preston, Savy, Rowan and, of course, Scar. Not enough paper to write it all out. They haven’t given up on me even when I wanted to give up on myself.
Sleep claims me, but my dreams don’t. They leave me restless and worried, yet the small voice overrides, tells me it’s okay, shewillsee me and love me too.
