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CHAPTER 8
Sam
What Chris did for me last night I will never be able to make up for. The way he stood up to Peter, so I didn’t have to. The way he fought him even though it goes against his morals, although I’m sure it felt good to give my ex-boyfriend what he deserves.
I feel guilty like it’s my fault Peter is hovering around us. It’s my fault that I dated Peter in the first place. But I’m not the reason he is the way he is. At least the man was smart enough not to come back to the office. He would have been arrested on the spot. Chris is definitely going to press charges if he ever comes back. It would be a sure-fire way to keep him away from us.
How did I fall for such a horrible man? How did I let him get under my skin? He radiates terrible energy, and I don’t know how I missed it before. I remember our first date; how happy I was. How hot I thought he looked. He still looks hot, but in a villain who could ruin your life type of way. His insides have rotted to the outside and I can’t look at him without thinking about how much I hate his guts.
I keep thinking about my anger as I mindlessly scroll through the same document, I’ve been reading all week. Back and forth, back and forth, looking through the billing statement to see if I can find something else. Something that will bring us closer to figuring out why my father was working with these people, why it’s in our system in the first place, and why someone has done so much to hide the contract. But nothing is standing out to me.
Maybe Chris is right. I’m not going to find anything on here.I’ve already got the thing memorized. The addresses, the statementnumber, they rattle through my head day in and day out.
I press the X icon and decide to move on, but then I see it. When I am looking at just the file, I don’t see anything. But when I open the side bar with details about the file I can see when it was created… and who created it. John Bauer, a senior executive who has worked with my father for several years.
I knock on Chris’ door to make sure he’s not on a phone call, and he politely lets me in. “I finally did it.”
“What?”
“I finally found something on that billing statement! I did it! We have something to work with.”
He smiles, but I know he’s skeptical. He’s been doubting that we’ll find anything, asking me to give up on the statement. “What is it?”
“John Bauer.”
“John? Like the senior executive?”
“Yep.”
“What does that mean? How is John involved?”
“I don’t know, but he’s the last one who edited the document. He’s the owner of the document. He created that form. He musthave been the one to scan that sheet. I feel like he knows something.”
“I know the guy; we’ve been working together for a long time. He’s just a normal man. He’s never done anything wrong.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. He always does this. Chris likes to see the best in people, except obviously Peter. So, for him to look at someone as a suspect of threatening the company, he’sgoing to need some convincing. “I get it. You guys are colleagues,but this is something. I know it is. How could he have seen this document and know nothing about it? He has a place of power within the company, he has to know something. You have to be able to see that.”
“He’s a nice guy, Sam.”
“He can be a nice guy and still know something about the Carters and why they were in business with my dad. Can you please just talk to him? For me? Just ask him a few questions about the billing statement.”
“How am I supposed to do that without letting him know that we know something shady is going on? I’m just supposed to go ‘oh yeah, we think Don and you are involved in something with some bank robbers, could you please, please tell me what’s going on here?”
“No, you can say that you stumbled on the document and were wondering what it is. Say you were cleaning out the files. Or you could bring him in on something completely different if you’re so worried about it. Maybe you need his help with another account, and then you could bring up this one. Please, I can’t do this without you. I need your help.”
I give him my best puppy dog eyes. Those always get him. I’m pleading for his help; how could he say no? “Okay, okay. I’ll do it. I’ll ask him to meet up with me. But if he doesn’t know anything, I’m not going to push it. It’s too risky.”
A smile spreads across my face. “Thank you. Seriously, thank you so much.”
I walk over to him and kiss him quickly before turning around and noticing the door was open the entire time. I walk out to check the lobby by my desk, but there’s no one there. “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry. I had no idea this was open.”
“It’s alright.” He chuckles at me.
“But we could have been caught. We really should start being more careful.”
Chris gets up from his desk and walks over to me. I take one step back, but I don’t walk away. He grabs my hips and pulls me in for a kiss deeper than the one I gave. I’m blown away by his lips. Nothing else matters, just his lips on mine. When he pulls away, my cheeks are hot with desire.
“It’s just the two of us here right now. It’s okay. We’re safe.” His arms wrap around me in a warm hug. I kiss him on the cheek and close his door behind me.
I want him, badly. As much fun as I have sneaking around, I know it’s going to get old sooner or later. I want him freely. I want to be able to walk around a park and hold hands. When he comes in for work, I want to kiss him without worrying if someone is going to catch us. I want to go on a real date, somewhere nice where we can actually express our love for one another.
Sometimes when I go out to eat, I think about him beside me. About us slipping away outside and having car sex, not caring who could walk by and see. I want to go to a movie and let him cuddle up next to me without peeking around to see if anyone would notice. I dream about the day we can have each other without worry.
But instead, right now, my memories of him are faded with stress and disappointment. When the cops came to us after Peter hit Chris, we had to tell them we were coworkers. Just coworkers. When I leave to go to his house, I have to tell my father that I’m going out with friends. I lie to him every other night to make sure we can continue to see each other.
Some days it feels like none of this is real. We pretend so much that it isn’t that I’m worried that’s what we’ll become. Just coworkers. Just friends. Not the Chris and Sam, we know ourselves to be.
But I love him enough to keep these things to myself. I know the risks, the consequences of letting people know we’re in love. So, I understand why we can’t be publicly together. The pressure is strong, but we’re stronger. And we’ll get through this together. I know we can.
I sit down at my desk and look at the document I’ve not closed for days. I finally close it, happy with myself that we’re another step closer to figuring out the mystery. Another day closer toending all of this drama, this dangerous game we’ve been playing.
