AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don’t mean to be rude,” Ali interrupted, “but I can barely think of one thing I can see in moments like that.”
Linda nodded with a smile. “Fine. Let’s start small—3-2-1 then. Three things you see, two things you hear, and one thing you feel. Simple.”
Ali tongued her cheek. “That’s it? That’s the big secret?”
“No,” Linda said. “There is no big secret, no one-size-fits-all solution. If you want to heal, Ali, you need to be two things: patient and present. This isn’t linear. It isn’t pretty. But your journey is what will heal you.”
Ali’s hair became matted from the force of her massaging the shampoo into her hair, digging painfully into her roots.
Between her legs, Ali washed, rinsed, and repeated. Over and over.
Linda had told Ali just before she left her office that it wasn’t an overnight process. How is that fair? Ali wondered. It was just minutes. Why do I have to pay for it any longer than that?And therapy twice a week? For a handful of minutes? It was unacceptable. She had a life to get back to—a life to build, moments to share, and memories to create with Cornell. Linda might have been right about that. “Our brain hangs on to traumatic memories intensely. They’ll be there, Ali, always. But you can drown them out. You can mute them by creating more good ones.”
I don’t need therapy for that, Ali concluded as she stepped out of the shower and onto the bathmat. But I do need him. So much. She wrapped a towel around her body, staring at the fogged mirror. With her index finger, Ali wrote the word Linda thought she should say. It was only four letters, and looking at it—looking at herself through it—her reflection was broken, weak, victimized. But it was only for a minute—just as long as it took for Graham to leave her that way. She could leave that moment behind too.
Taking a deep breath, Ali pulled the towel from her body, erased the word, and wiped the tears from her face. Slipping on her robe, Ali stepped into her bedroom and grabbed her phone.
Cornell picked up on the second ring. “Ali?”
“Do you think we’re soulmates?”
“Yes,” he answered without hesitation, with all the confidence in the world.
“How do you know?”
There was silence, and Ali could hear Cornell close a door. “Because I’d choose the worst fucking day I’ve ever had with you over the best day I’ve had without you a million times over. It’s not even a contest, Ali. You were meant for me.”
Ali pressed her lips firmly together and held the phone away to hide the cry from him. It was in that moment Ali decided she wouldn’t wait another day. She would go back—to home, to Cornell—that night. I’ll surprise him, Ali decided, imagining the look of pure joy on his face, knowing it would be at the top of her list of favorite memories, second to only one other.
Her mind flashed back to the Fourth of July weekend, to the moment he draped the delicate necklace around her neck with his large, tough hands. Her hand slid up to her neck, finding it empty even as she clung to the good memory. Ali might have lost the necklace, but she fearfully wondered if she might also lose the meaning behind it.
“I’ll be home soon,” Ali told Cornell. “I swear.”
I need to know it’s not possible to lose something forever.
