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Page 48
“Baby, he loved you,” I tell her honestly.
She shakes her head and it kills me that she really believes that.
“Megan, look at me. See me, darlin’. ” I plead. I wait for her to collect herself before I continue. “You know I love Dani like she’s my sister. You and Jack are just like Dani and me. Best friends with a bond that can’t be shaken. He didn’t give up anything for you that he wasn’t okay with losing. But he was not okay with losing you. He did what he did because he loved you. Have you been living with that guilt this whole time?”
“Since the day he told me he enlisted. He did it all for me, Lee and in the end he died for it. I’ve felt that every day for the last six years. He gave me a happy life, you have to understand that, we were so blissfully happy that I didn’t mind that we had the most unconventional marriage. But I have always felt the guilt of his decision since the day when he made it. I didn’t show him. Never let him see that cloud hanging over us, but it was there and I felt the bone-crippling pain of that guilt when they told me he was killed. ”
“You need to let that go, darlin’. Let go of that thought that he didn’t love you and forget it. I’m telling you, as a man cut from the same cloth, if Dani had been in your shoes, I wouldn’t have married her, baby. Not because I wouldn’t have wanted her safe, but because I don’t love her past a sibling-like bond. I would have made her safe, but not by marrying her. Your husband, baby, he loved you. ”
Her eyes widen and I watch, helplessly, as her lids fill and when the first sob hits her body, I take her in my arms and hold her as she not only relives her pain, but comes to terms with the realization that she’s had it all wrong for six very long and very agonizing years.
“I didn’t love him like that, Lee. ” She says a long while after the tears had dried and her body had stilled. “What kind of person does that make me, that I never loved him like that? He was my best friend and I loved him, but I was never ever in love with him. Not when he saved me, made it safe, or even after we had Molly and we fell into a real marriage. It always felt so forced when we tried to be more than just friends. ”
I tighten my arms and close my eyes. I run my fingers through her hair before resting my hand against her head as it rests against my chest.
“Makes you human, Megan. You two made the best out of a shit situation. He died serving his country, baby. He died a hero. He died knowing he was a father of a beautiful girl that has her mother’s smile and the fighting spirit of the only real father she will ever know—your husband. He loved a good woman and if I had my guess, with all of that, he died happy. Darlin’, it’s time to let it go. Give it to me and let me take your pain, but you never forget that despite everything that happened before, he loved you and Molly, and he died a happy man that had the world. ”
“How do you know that?” she sobs, her tears picking back up. Tears she needs to finally heal from her pain. Tears that, as they soak through my naked skin, heal because I take her pain.
“Because, there is no way he could have you and Molly in his life and not know what kind of beauty he held in his hands. Darlin’ trust me. He didn’t regret a second of it. Bet my life on it. ”
“Oh, God,” she sobs. “Lee. ”
My name comes out of her mouth and I know that I will never forget the sound. Her agony laced so deep into that one word that long into the night I hold her to me, tight, as she slips in and out of sleep. The tears don’t leave for long and even when she managed to drift off to sleep, those sobs never stop shaking her body.
My hold never wavers as I make true to my promise and take every single pain filled tear, every ghost of her past that comes shaking from the force of her cries, and I pull that pain deep inside and lock it tight so that it can never hurt her again.
“GOOD MORNIN,’ DARLIN’. ”
I shake my head against his voice and burrow deeper into his warm skin.
“I would let you sleep the day away if I could. No place I would rather have you than right here naked in my arms, but we need to talk and I want some time to enjoy my woman, soft from sleep, before we have to get going. ”
Lifting my head, I look through the blonde mess of hair that is currently more in my face than his now. His eyes look tired, but alert. The stubble from last night has darkened his jaw even more, framing that knee-melting smile to perfection.
“You need to use the restroom before we have that talk?” he asks, that smile deepening until his dimple pops.
I nod and before he unwraps his arms from my body, his head tips up from the pillow it was resting on and his lips touch mine. So soft it was just a breath of his skin before he pulled away.
Page 49
“Hurry back to me, darlin’. ”
Without too much fanfare, I untangle my body from his, instantly missing the warmth of his touch. I hear him laugh as I pull the sheet with me as I stand and I turn to glare at him, but stumble on my feet instantly. My glare vanishes and my jaw drops.
I should have considered, possibly, that it wasn’t the best idea to take the only sheet we had with me. All I thought was that there was no way I wanted to parade through his very bright bedroom with all my jiggly bits on display. But, I didn’t think because in nabbing that sheet, I left him—all of him—on display and he’s loving every second of this. Very obviously.
My eyes go from his erection to his face a few times, not stopping to enjoy the deliciousness in between. Just like a tennis match, crotch to head and back again. My eyes widen when his laughter picks up and that beautifully huge erection of his bobs up and down. Just jumping around like a Mexican jumping bean or something. There wasn’t any going back to his eyes after that. My gaze was trapped on his cock and it would take an act of God to change that.
“Keep looking at me like that and we’re going to have issues,” his voice grumbles.
I lick my lips and all his laughter stops. But my eyes never leave his crotch. Jesus, is he getting harder?
“Megan,” he warns.
I don’t move. My hands itch where I have the sheet clamped tight against my chest and I have to shift from foot to foot with the building pressure between my legs. He is getting harder.
“Lick your lips like that again and I won’t be able to hold back. ”
His voice sounds strained. Well, hell, judging by how angry his cock looks, I would guess strained is a pretty fair assumption.
“Megan,” he barks and I jump slightly. “Bathroom. Now. We need to talk before I fuck you and if you keep this shit up there won’t be any of the former. Just a lot of fucking. ”
I nod then lick my lips. When I hear him make some kind of animalistic noise deep in his throat, I jump, spin and run to the bathroom.
I make quick work of the toilet, wash my hands and attempt to do something with my wild hair. When I look at myself in the mirror I want to puke. My eyes are swollen from crying most of the night; little, puffy red bags making them look small and beady. My nose is red and my lips are slightly chapped.
I look like a hot mess.
And Liam—no Lee—still wanted me. A lot.
I smile to myself when I think about what calling him Lee does to him. The second I used his nickname, something I have never done because I felt like by not using it I could keep some more distance between us, he came alive and the reward was so great that there is no way I’m going back to Liam.
My gaze falls from my face and I look around the counter. I see his toothbrush resting in a cup next to the sink. The toothpaste on the other side, neatly capped and not a mess like some people leave theirs. A girly looking bottle of hand soap, that I know deep down either came from his mom or Dani. No way he would have something like that. Lee strikes me as the kind of man that would have a bar of off brand soap, but not high-end girly stuff.
Shifting on my feet, I worry my lip and try to figure out the whole smelly breath, yucky teeth, situation I have myself in right now.
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“Megan,” Lee barks from the other side of the door. “Did you fall in?”
I take a deep breath, hike the sheet tighter and turn to open the door. He hasn’t moved from his bed, his hands folded behind his head and that gloriously hard cock still standing at full attention.
“Stop,” he warns and my eyes shoot to his. He studies my face for a second before speaking. “What’s bothering you, darlin’. ” His tone is soft, comforting.
He starts to come up, his elbow digging into the mattress as his feet uncross and he starts to swing his frame from where he had been resting. I hold my hand up and he pauses.
“I, uh, well . . . okay. I know you’re a single guy living alone and all, but sometimes single guys stock up and like to be prepared. I mean, I’m prepared, but I have Molly so it makes sense to have, like, ten of everything—”
I snap my mouth shut when he lifts off the bed and prowls toward me. He moved so quickly that one second he was in the bed, and the next he was standing in front of me with his hands resting right where my back meets the swell of my ass.
“Breathe,”
I do and he smiles.
“Not single,” he states and I feel my brow wrinkle. “Darlin’, wasn’t alone in that bed last night. I. Am not. Single. ”
“Oh,” I say on a sigh.
Page 50
“Darlin’. ” He dips his neck down and moves his face level with mine. “Seriously?”
I shiver with the look in his eyes. Soft and hard, all at the same time. But not for a second holding back his happy adoration.
“Seriously?” he questions again.
Coming out of my fog, I shake my head and when he pulls back I hurry to find my voice.
“I know,” I gasp. “I know. I mean, I think I know. I, you, uh . . . we . . . what I mean is, shit. I just wanted to know if you have a spare toothbrush. ”
I look up when I feel his body start to move slightly and his knee-melting smile hits me at full force, dimple and all.
“It isn’t funny, Lee. ”
