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I turn my back—happy to keep my shaking hands busy—and pull two coffee cups out of the cabinet. I leave one black for Addison and fill the other with Emily’s too-sweet creamer.
My head and stomach are both spinning. I peek over at Willow, but she seems unaware of the tension in the room. Instead, she and Emily are cooking the last of the pancakes, their words and laughter filling the air.
Normally, I’d allow myself to enjoy the sweet sound that rarely occurs in this house anymore, but I’m too wrapped up in my own misery to relax. Hesitantly, I walk over to Emily and set down her cup of coffee while mouthing, “Don’t bite.”
She nods her head once, then looks away.
Next, I circle around the table and hand Addison hers. I reach out to touch her shoulder. I mean for the touch to be light and reassuring, but when she peers up at me with those sad eyes, my arm feels weighed down with our struggles, and the apology I want to give her dies on my lips. Reluctantly, I let go, feeling like a complete failure of a man. I sit down across from her then, staring at her unabashedly.
Her hair has gotten longer since our time together. I didn’t notice that yesterday. It falls over one shoulder, leaving behind a small wet spot on her white T-shirt where the ends of the strands lay. Her face is fresh and makeup free, but her eyes are ringed red. I know I’m the cause of that, and I hate myself for it. I did such a shitty job trying to explain myself to her last night. I should have gone after her. I should have made her listen—at least long enough to explain that I’m not a complete asshole. Only maybe a partial one.
As if an afterthought, Emily says, “Oh! Willow, I know you two met yesterday, but this is Addison. She’s going to be staying with us for a few days, if that’s okay.”
Willow only shrugs in response, but I stay perfectly still, afraid to even breathe.
My gaze bores into the back of Emily’s head, willing her to turn around so I can get some kind of inkling of what the hell she might be thinking right now, but she continues making pancakes as though she didn’t just knock the floor out from underneath us all.
Addison drops her cup to the table, and her eyes bounce around in panic. My heart seizes with worry that she’ll bolt again.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she finally says. “I can just stay at the motel.”
“So, that’s where you were.” I try to keep my face neutral, but I can feel the frown creeping into my brow.
Emily finally turns. She leans one hip against the counter, and when she crosses her arms over her chest, I can tell she’s about to get sassy with me.“Where else would she have been?”
Her tone is teasing, but the underlying look of annoyance on her face tells me she hasn’t quite forgiven me for the way I handled things last night—probably with both her and Addison.
“So you just decided to take things into your own hands,” I mutter while bringing my cup of coffee to my lips. I take a long pull, silently begging the caffeine to help me make more sense out of this morning.
How’d she even know where to find Addison?
Emily gives me that blank stare of hers that always makes me feel like a child. It’s a look she does well, but I haven’t seen it much in the past few years. It’s kind of nice seeing it now, even though it sucks that it’s directed at me. We’ve been so focused on her health that everything else has paled in comparison, but I guess we finally found something else worth pissing her off.
“Emily, can you help me check that Willow packed everything she needs for tonight?” I ask, immediately rising from my chair.
Willow sends me a goofy frown over her shoulder, not at all amused that I insinuated she might not know how to pack an overnight bag, but she goes right back to plating pancakes without a peep.
“Oh, I’m sure she did just fine,” Emily says, then stretches her arms above her head and lets out a very loud—and very fake—yawn.
Seriously?
“Em,” I say sharply.
Three beautiful faces turn my way—one anxious (Addi), one curious (Willow), and one annoyed (definitely Emily).
Emily continues to ignore me, picking up two plates loaded up with pancakes. I’d be willing to bet that Willow will devour hers, and Emily will only push hers around her plate, pretending to eat for Willow’s sake.
“Willow, let’s go eat these up in my room before Nana and Pops come over. We’re due for some snuggles,” Emily says. “We’ll talk later,” she finally says to me, smiling again at Addison on her way out of the room.
Willow chases after her, begging to watch TV while they eat.
I don’t hear Emily’s response, but I know she’ll agree. When it comes to Willow, Emily has no backbone.
Not that she’s the only one.
I grab the two plates of pancakes left on the countertop and place them at our spots on the table. I put the bottle of syrup in front of her plate and then stare at mine. There’s really no point in beating around the bush. I’ve spent hours replaying what happened between us last night, what I should have done and said. Considering she’s now sitting in my kitchen, surely Emily explained our situation to Addison more thoroughly than I had, but that doesn’t let me off the hook for my actions.
“I’m sorry,” I finally say. “I’m not sure what you and Emily have discussed, but I’m assuming she did at least tell you that we are not in a romantic relationship with each other.”
