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Like I hadn’t murdered a handful of men minutes ago.
By the time the cop cars whizzed past me, I was a few blocks away and my heart had slowed from a gallop to a quick trot. My mind, however, was in overdrive. Thoughts of cameras, witnesses, and DNA made it difficult to breathe through my tightening throat. I had no idea what to do or where to go. Going back to the party seemed reckless as all hell. It wouldn’t take much to set me off in my current state, and Heath and Illyria were already in fine form tonight.
I needed to call someone. I couldn’t lose control over the phone—at least I didn’t think so—and I could ask for help. But who to call? Wracking my brain, there was no one who stood out to me as a viable candidate that didn’t come with strings.
Except one person.
The very person I was forbidden to contact.
But I was probably also forbidden to murder people, so fuck it.
I whipped out my phone and pulled up a familiar number. My mom’s contact photo smiled at me, and the tightness in my throat became almost unbearable with the addition of unshed tears. Suddenly, I was a little girl again, lost and in trouble, and all I wanted was my mom.
Hitting the call button was an enormous risk–who knew if Day had bugged my phone while she had it–but I did it before I could stop to think about the consequences. It was late, though. What if she didn’t ans—
“Hello? Thea? Is that you, baby?” Mom’s voice was frantic, but even so, it was the sweetest sound I’d heard in months.
“Hi, Momma.” It came out a croak, a tear breaking free and sliding down my cheek to leave a cool trail as it dripped off my jaw.
“What is it, Thea? What’s wrong?”
“I… I messed up, mom. I didn’t mean to do it, it just happened.”
“What happened? Where are you?”
Haltingly, I filled her in on everything that had happened since coming across the group in the alley. She had to be shocked to know what I could do, but in typical Mom fashion, she focused on me and how to help.
“You need to get off the street, baby. If there are cameras in that alley, it’ll be easy for them to find you. Get somewhere safe until you can get back to the school.”
“I don’t want to go back there, Momma, I hate it.” I sounded like a whiny kid who didn’t want to go to summer camp, but the petulance felt warranted. For all that Divinity Prep was a beautiful place, it was a hell I hadn’t signed up for.
“I know, sweetheart, but you have to. It’s the safest place for you, and you have to learn to control yourself. If you don’t, you might hurt someone innocent.”
“I already did.”
“No, Thea. Those men would have hurt you, had already brutalized someone else. What you did was to defend yourself and someone who couldn’t help himself.”
“But they’re dead, mom. They’re someone’s sons, someone’s brothers, maybe even someone’s fathers. I took them away.” More tears broke free, but I dashed them away with my free hand before tucking it under my other arm.
“They made their choices that put them in that situation. They could have walked away when you told them to stop abusing that boy. We all have to face the consequences of our actions.”
Including me. Tension stole over me as I considered what I’d face when I returned to Divinity. If Alvina knew about what I’d done–hell, if she knew about this phone call–I was done for. Murder had to be even worse, right?
“I don’t know what to do.” My whisper was broken, coated in repressed tears. “Help me, Momma.”
“Oh, my baby.” Mom sounded like she might be fighting back tears of her own, and my heart broke for laying this at her feet. She cleared her throat before speaking. “Alright, this is what you’re going to do. You’re going to hang up this phone and erase the call history, then head to a diner or café. Somewhere where there are plenty of people and you won’t be alone. Then you’re going to call a ride service and have them take you right back to the school. You don’t say a word about what happened tonight to anyone. Do you understand me, Theodora? Not a word.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Mom’s strident tone reminded me of the few times I’d ever crossed her, but it was comforting rather than upsetting. She was serious, and it gave me confidence in her plan. “Straight to the school and say nothing.”
“If you’re questioned by the teachers, you don’t admit anything unless they have proof. If they do, you explain what happened just like you told me, but only if they already know. If not, nothing happened. You were tired of the party and wanted to go home. You can say you got into a fight with one of the other students or something.”
“I did get into an argument before I walked out.”
“Good. Then you went back to the school to cool down, and that was the end of your night.”
“Alright, I’ve got it.”
“Hang up now, baby.”
