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‘After what happened? You must be joking!’ It wasn’t just the BJ disaster. Marta already thought I was a shit mother and I’d proved her right. I mean, what kind of mum sent her son away without checking that she’d packed the bloody milk?
‘Amore.’ He pulled me in to him and looked into my eyes. ‘Tranquilla.Is easy to forget the milk. Was the first time Leo stay overnight somewhere. And do not worry. Is natural for a man and woman, for us to do these things. There is nothing wrong with this.’
‘It may be naturalin private, but it’s definitelynotnatural for your mother to see me doing the deed in front of her and then talking to her with a face covered in spunk. So embarrassing!’
‘It was not something I would choose do in front of her either, but things happen, no?’ He shrugged his shoulders.
Easy for him to be so calm. He was his mother’s golden boy. The apple of her eye. Marta would forgive him even if he committed murder.
‘Mamma should have called or knocked the door first,’ Lorenzo continued. ‘But because there were no lights on, she thought we had gone out. And I had not remembered that she still had the key to my place to check on when I was living in London. I am sorry. But you must not worry. Mamma will be fine.’
‘Fine foryou, maybe. Your mother loves you, but she hates me.’
‘She does not hate you.’ He rubbed my shoulders reassuringly. ‘Is just… you need to know each other better, that is all. That is why will be good for you to spend more time together.’
More time?Five minutes with Marta was enough to last me a lifetime. If I didn’t see her for another decade or two, it would suit me just fine. The way she sneered and looked down on me. Didn’t she know it was hard enough being a first-time mum and trying to figure stuff out without someone scrutinising every move, willing you to make a mistake and then giving me the evils when I eventually did? I guessed she didn’t. She was probably always perfect at everything to do with motherhood.
I was torn. I didn’t want to miss my lesson tomorrow, but I didn’t want to face Marta either…
Fuck it.
I’d just have to suck it up and swallow humble pie. Punsnotintended.
‘Okay. But could you ask her this time?’ I felt weak for asking Lorenzo to do it, especially when I was supposed to start being more independent, but given the circumstances, it was for the best. ‘When I call her, the way I ask her to look after Leo is correct. I say it exactly how you taught me—well, close enough—but she says she doesn’t understand and makes me repeat it several times.’ I was sure she did it on purpose. Just to make me sweat. Marta knew babysitting Leo would be the main reason I’d call, but yet she always played dumb and made me feel like I had to beg.
‘Bene. I will call her tonight. From five-thirty until nine,sì?’
‘Yes. The class should finish by eight, eight-thirty, but say nine, just in case.’
‘Perfetto.’
I cringed, just thinking about how awkward it would be to see her face-to-face again.
‘I better make sure I don’t eat anything creamy before she gets here.’
‘I do not understand?’ said Lorenzo.
‘If I have anything like that on my face when your mum sees me, I think she might faint. Or book me into some sort of sex addiction clinic…’
‘I am sorry…’ He slapped his forehead. ‘It is my fault… I was excited and I made a lot of mess…’
‘There was alotof build-up…’
‘There was…’ He winced.
‘I was surprised. I mean, obviously I know I haven’t been ready to…you know, but I thought maybe you were self-servicing…’
‘Self-what?’ He frowned before realising what I was saying. ‘Oh… well, sometimes if I need, but not very often. I prefer do it with you. I know sounds crazy, but I feel if I use my hands, I will be disloyal to you, so I wait for as long as I can before do that.’
Now I feltreallybad.
‘Oh, darling.’ I wrapped my arms around his waist. ‘Please don’t worry. I know you have needs and I wish I could help you with them right now, but…’
‘Is okay. I understand. And thank you for last night. I know has not been easy for you, so I appreciate. I was enjoying a lot until…’
‘Yeah…untilwe were interrupted,’ I laughed, desperately trying to see the funny side, but still feeling mortified. ‘Honestly, though, it’s fine. If you need to use your hands, go for it. As long as you don’t develop some sort of wanking addiction and never want to sleep with me again!’
‘Impossible.’ He squeezed me tighter. ‘And remember, no need to rush do anything. You have given me a son. Your body has done a wonderful thing and gone through many changes.Ti amo.I love you. I can wait. We have the rest of our lives to have sex and when you are ready for us to be together again, will be worth it.Certo. I know it will.’
As I rested my head on his shoulder, I hoped to God he was right.
