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How can you want something and not want it at the same time?
That’s how I felt about my feelings for Logan. I wanted him more than anything throughout high school, but when I thought something might actually happen with us, I got scared.
Turning away so he wouldn’t see my tears. Logan follows me.
“You know I kissed you that night,” he declares, stopping me in my tracks. “The night of my draft party.”
I couldn't move.
“That night, the guys kept handing you drinks,” he continued. “And I swear I never saw you turn any down,” he said to my back. “By the time midnight rolled around, you were so drunk, you couldn’t even stand,” he said."I wanted to yell at you for doing it, but on the other hand, I understood."
“I remember,” I replied, without turning around to meet him. “I had the worst hangover the next morning.”
Logan chuckled, but it was full of emotion instead of humor. “Wanting to protect you, I tucked you away in the guest house where you’d be able to sleep it off without worrying about anyone disturbing you.”
My heart ached.
“Tucking you into bed, I kissed you and you told me you loved me,” he said. “I spent the rest of that night sitting on the floor trying to figure out how to make the distance work and I believed it could… but the following morning, you didn’t remember.”
“How could you keep something like that from me?” The moment I uttered the words, I cried.
“I’m sorry, Steph. I thought I was sparing us by not saying anything,” he said, as I follow his hand it lightly brushes against my cheek.“I’ve made a lot of mistakes.My choices hurt us both.I know I have to regain your trust. I understand that. Just know that this time I’m not going anywhere,” he declares.
My shoulders shake - softly at first, then uncontrollably as he steps into me.
“I promise you if given the chance I’ll make you fall in love with me again,” he said, his mouth hitching up in a sexy grin.
The attraction between Logan and I has been there plain as day ever since freshman year. He had girls flinging themselves at him, but he always made time to hang out with me.Always ignoring everyone else when it was our time.
Before I could overanalyzed what happened next, I erased the remaining space between us as I slipped my arms around Logan’s neck. Drawing him closer, Logan’s lips hovered near mine, our breaths ebbing and flowing in unison before I press my lips to his.
Putting everything I felt into this one kiss, I wanted him to feel loved and wanted. I’m not only seeking this for him; I wanted the same in return.
“So… where does all this leave us?” He asks, pressing his forehead to mine.
“I do not know.” I sighed. “All I know is I can’t keep my distance anymore,” I admit, searching his eyes.
Placing his lips against mine, he took a moment to breathe me in. “Let me take you on a date,” he said breathlessly. “An actual date, not just us hanging out like we always do,” he continues, his expression a little more solemn as that magnetic pull draws us back together.
Entertained by my silence, Logan looks entirely too comfortable as he bites his lip in amusement. “Well,sweet girl. What do you say?” He asks, raising his brow as a smile ghosts his lips.
Damn, he makes it hard to think.
Doing my best to keep the smell of his cologne at bay, the midnight air wasn’t having it. Taking a deep breath, I melted into the firm notes of sandalwood and musk, the scent of it flirting with my core - leaving me weak in the knees.
Good thing I’m sitting.
As if he knows me better than I know myself, he says. “I want more than a friendship with you… I always have. Just give us a chance,” he pleas, and it feels like I’ve just died and gone to heaven.
Leaning into each other, the moment felt perfect. “Okay, let's go on a date.”
