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Me:Are you implying Igive you ahard time?
Thomas:You can say that. You can definitely say that.
“Earth to Erin, Ithought Christmas was supposed to be family time.” Corey threw apea at me and this time it landed on my forehead.
“Ouch!” Irubbed it, feigning pain. Anything better than showing what the last message did to me. “You’re right though, it’snot an emergency and Ishouldn’tbe on the phone when we’re finally together.” Iflipped it on its screen and slid it on the table far from my reach.
“He’sonly messing with you.” Mom glowered at him, then patted my hand. “You’re free to talk to whomever you like. What matters is that you’re here.”
“Nope.” Ishook my head. “I’mgoing to focus on enjoying every precious minute with you. Besides, talking on the phone takes away from my eating time and this is delicious.” Ishoved another spoonful of stuffed turkey in my mouth to prove my point. Iwasn’texaggerating either, nothing tasted as good as my mom’scooking.
“You can do anything you’dlike. Especially if the other person on the line is aspecial someone.” She winked at me while Ichoked on my bite.
Corey talked around abite of mashed potatoes. “Warned you the FBI here doesn’tmiss athing.”
“It doesn’ttake agenius to notice this is alittle more than afriendly conversation.” Mom chewed on her vegetables, pretending she didn’tdrop abomb on me mid-dinner.
“Mom, Isaid he was afriend.” Irolled my eyes, feeling like ateenager under her scrutiny.
Mom lowered her chin and peered at me, her wise eyes performing an x-ray of my brain.
“It’snot like that. He’sjust really nice. And he gives me drawing classes.”
Corey snorted. “Didn’tyou tell him you’re hopeless?”
“Corey Holt, if you ever poke fun at your sister again, Iwill…Iwill…oh, never mind.” Mom waved afinger at him and laughed. “Erin, everything you touch turns to gold, when you decide to put yourself into it. And you preferred not to, until now. How’sit going then?”
“It’sokay. Thomas is okay.” Iplayed with the remainder of food on my plate, moving it around in circles instead of letting Mom see me blush. “More than okay, he’sgreat. I’mlearning to love it.”
“I’mglad you gave him achance to prove himself.” Mom patted my hand, soothing my nervous movements.
“It’snot like Ihad achoice. Like you said, this was the path to my dream job.”
“Imeant…”
Iraised my hand. “Iunderstood perfectly well what you meant, Mom. And Ilike him, he’sgreat. Better than any man I’ve known.”
“Gross, Erin.” Corey made gagging sounds. “Idon’tneed to hear these things from my sister.”
“Shut up, Corey, what are you, twelve?” Istuck my tongue out at him, being mature and all myself, then returned to Mom. “Anyway, so was Greg in the beginning. So was Dad.”
“You’re being stubborn for no reason.” The creases on Mom’sforehead deepened. “And for the record, thanks to your dad Ihave you two, so Ican’tsay Iregret him. Not in the slightest.”
“Ilove you, Mom.” Ilifted from my chair to hug the beautiful and strong woman who Iidolized.
“Ilove you too, and that’swhy Iwant you to not be scared and to give happiness achance.” She grabbed my shoulders and leveled her gaze with mine. “Your painful experiences made you vigilant and I’mpositive that if someone tries anything with you, you’ll feel it. And this guy obviously makes you smile—that’sagreat place to start.”
“It’snot that easy.” Ireturned to my chair, propping my head on my hand.
“Don’ttake life too seriously.” She muffled my hair. “It’slike gambling: the higher the risk, the bigger the reward.”
If Ilooked deep inside myself, Ilonged to have arelationship with Thomas, something more than our friendship. The remaining doubt Ihad stemmed from the wounded part of me. The scarred part that flared whenever the memories of my past relationship surfaced, when Iremembered how easily Icould be manipulated.
But then…Iwanted happiness. Ideserved it.
Thomas was my happiness, and Icouldn’tlet Greg and Dad win.
“What if Iwaited for too long to tell him anything and he’smoved on?” Ibit my nail.
