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CHAPTER 10
SAM
How I picked myself up after the most embarrassing situation of my entire life is lost to me. I remember jerking up from my restless sleep and noting the first stray light of dawn filtering into the room, then settling back down as the events of the night before swarmed through my head. When the gravity of all that transpired the night before dawns on me, there’s no other choice than for me to pick myself up and find my way out of Chris' house.
The ultimate walk of shame doesn’t end till I get into my shower and blast the hot water all over my skin. I’m almost unconscious of the sting as the one in my heart sears like hot poisoned spikes slashing through my chest. What humiliation! How can I even resume work with what happened last night? I should probably drop my resignation letter before he does, just to save us all the awkwardness. What do I tell my dad? What if he finds out I almost slept with his friend? I’ll be dead. If my dad's standards of propriety are anything to go by, he’ll definitely kill me. If Dad finds out what has been transpiring between his daughter and business partner…even Chris would get it from my dad. A part of me feels like a slut…my dad's friend. What does that make me?
I leave the shower and towel off, yelping as the towel makes contact with my skin. I feel so tender all over with the reddish look of my skin. I pat more gently, avoiding friction as much as I can. Going to the office is out of the question. As a matter of fact, the only sensible thing for me to do now is to start writing job applications to towns far away and also find an apartment far from here. I’m convinced that if I ever look Chris in the eye again I’ll drop dead from embarrassment. Either that or God will strike me dead for touching and staining his servant.
I wonder how he is coping with himself. How can he deal with the fact that he went straight from the pulpit to sucking on my tits? Me, his unmarried secretary, daughter of his friend, young enough to be his child. This is crazy, batshit crazy.
I dress up and head straight to my laptop. What needs to be done has to be done, and I have to do it while my adrenaline-fueled common sense is still working. I crack my knuckles and brandish my finger like a weapon.
I am writing to notify you of my resignation as your secretary. Then I clear it.
This is to notify you of my…
The cursor blinks at me like a dumbo
I stomp on the backspace like an enemy. Is this how resignation letters go? I google samples and search for one that can resonate with the issue at hand. This will be going to his mail and I don’t want anyone finding the email and trying to shine a torch up to his guts.
After a gazillion clicks on the backspace button, I finally have the best-looking resignation letter I could come up with. I decide to send him a private text to apologize for the events of last night.
The send icon on the drop-down menu never looked so menacing. I stretch my finger over the touchpad just to click and I'm just stuck. A need to read over for the umpteenth time overpowers me. I drag the cursor, adding Oxford commas and swapping colons for semicolons. Would it be tactless to add a notice for severance pay?
My hands linger over the mouse again.
"Arghh, I can't do this." I give up and slam the computer shut. I’ll certainly resign. That's my deadset resolve, but not now.
CHRIS
I stare into the empty mug. It’s my third cup of coffee and the time is only 9 am. The office is quiet, but my solitude does me more trouble than good. The universal elixir for dulled minds is not working. Instead, my brain is fuzzier than before.
I already called Pastor Greg to tell him I won’t be taking the sermon tomorrow. I can’t imagine myself at the pulpit preaching to God's people when I just disrespected him the way I did last night. And not just with anybody — a woman young enough to be my daughter, whose father is my friend, who works for me, and worst of all, whom I'm not married to! The words of the detective come back to me. Everyone has dirt…
I sink into my seat and drop the cup. How do I go about this?
Firing Sam is out of the question. I don’t intend to punish her for my lack of self-control. And what do I tell her father when he asks? I almost slept with his daughter because all my self-control flies out the window when she's around me?
That she is incompetent? An obvious lie as she’s already overqualified for the position. I already sing her praises too. I run both hands through my hair, rubbing furiously. Donald will likely skin me alive if he catches a whiff of this.
But will you keep doing the dishonorable thing?
I already asked for forgiveness and though my heart is not less light, I'd just have to spend more time with God communicating about this. For now, I have to nip this in the bud this very minute. How do I build a wall, a strong boundary that both of us would never cross again?
Or make a way through which you can be with a woman you love; in the right way.
I stand and start pacing again. Do I even love her, or is this my unattended lust rearing its ugly head?
My phone and computer ping at the same time. I have an email. I click on it. It's from Sam.
"Notice of Resignation," it reads. I don't bother to read through the rest. I'm already picking up my keys. But wait…what if this is God's sign? At least, now I wouldn't have to deal with Donald.
Still, I had to do this. I wouldn't let her punish herself for my mistake. I should apologize for my stupidity last night, and I owe her another job since I'm the reason she's resigning. I tear across the street, trying hard to stay on the limit. I get to her house and come across another obstacle I didn't think of properly. Donald will surely be at home as it's a weekend. I can't afford to make a scene here.
As providence will have it, I see a familiar figure walking down the street towards the house; it's her. I start the car and drive up to meet her. She’s a little startled as sights me and turns back.
"Not so fast, missy," I say and follow her. "Sam, Sam!" I call when I reach her side. "Are you kidding? I already saw you." She slowly, and obviously very reluctantly, turns around.
