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My eyelids were heavy, small tears rolled from under them. I pulled back the heavy thick blankets. “Move over, baby cakes, and let me in. I know it hurts and I wish I could take the pain from you,” I whispered as I slipped my hands under her tiny, light frame and pushed her over slightly and slipped in the bed with her. I wrapped her inside my arms and pulled the blankets around us, like when we were little and had sleep overs. We would hide under the covers and whisper secrets to each other in the dark.
“Remember when we told our parents we were going to the movies with Dee-Dee and staying at her nana’s and we actually went to the party the Ripley brothers were throwing. We got so drunk on red wine.” I laughed slightly, reliving the memory.
“You were crying drunk on the front lawn with vomit in your hair. You had never drunk before, and it took me three days to convince you to lie to your parents.” Her sweet voice was a mere whisper around us. I turned on my side to face her. I needed to look at my friend as I had a strange eerie feeling that this was it.
“I swear it took me three weeks to come right. Even now, just the sight of red wine has me gagging.”
“What about the night at Wooden’s, where you kissed the random guy in the garden.” I snorted at the memory she just gave me.
“Oh, my God, yes. He followed me everywhere and I was so scared Mom and Dad would find out “
“Now look, you guys are together. Must have been one epic kiss.” I winced at her words. “What?” She tried to move to look at me.
“Nothing. Just rest, lady, you need all your strength.”
“Brenyn.” Rolling my eyes, I shifted onto my elbow and kissed her cooling forehead that had a light layer of sweat kissing her skin.
“He’s a douche and doesn’t understand this.” I waved my arms over the room. “Us, me, you. The fact that I’ve lost interest. He drinks and parties and drinks and snorts coke and parties and I’m like, well, me. Quiet and here with you or at the law firm or court. God, I’m always in court.” Bellz little heart monitor went off as did the oxygen. One of her eyes went a little rollie inside her sunken eye socket and the nurses ran in. My heart stopped inside my chest, fear griping at me.
“No, Bellz,” I shrieked. “I’m not ready.”
The nurses pushed buttons, checked lines and listened to her heart. Then pressed more buttons, gave me a weak smile and the other a small nod. “Soon,” was all they said as they scurried from the room.
“Wait, what?” I questioned.
“We will let her parents and the doctor know.” I choked on a sob.
“No, not my parents.” Bellz tried so hard to sound in control. “I just want Bre.” The nurse nodded at me, and I smiled.
“I got this.” She walked back over to the bed and helped me pull her forward as I slipped in behind her and she snuggled between my legs. Her head rested on my chest and the nurse wrapped the tri-pillow behind my head and shoulders to support me. My fingers linked with Bellz. The nurse tucked us in and flicked on the light that shone from a panel behind the bed in the wall. It was a dull yellow encasing us in a halo of light. Tears fell from my eyes.
“Sing me our song.” Her voice was barely there.
So, I did, knowing I had only moments with her earth side and I would give her my last breath if she asked me to. I sang her Foy Vance “Feel For Me” and she slipped away in my arms.
My tears rolled heavy from my eyes and onto the top of her head. Leaning down, I kissed the baby fluff of hair she had sprinkled throughout.
“Tell the stars hello for me and the moon to keep me company on the darkest nights.”
