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“It’s not the only reason I’m here,” he said with a self-deprecating smile. “Actually, noodles are a pretty flimsy excuse.”
Lilah was as still as a stone. “Oh?”
“Lilah,” he groaned, ignoring the chair and crouching before her. “What are we doing?”
She cast her eyes downwards, not wanting to see and be seen in the unique way he had of comprehending her.
“We are doing nothing.” She lifted her head and fixed her attendant with a shaky smile. “A pot of Earl Grey, thank you.”
“Yes, madam.”
The servant disappeared and Lilah sent Will a look of caution. “Please take care. My staff are trustworthy but I do not wish to become a subject of gossip.”
“God, Lilah. When can we ever speak?”
She bit down on her lip and shook her head. She could tell him that it would never be possible, but that would be a lie. He was right, anyway. They did need to talk. She had thought of him unendingly and had come to believe that only conversation would bring closure.
“Now.” She sat back in the sofa and swallowed. “I’ll ask my attendants to leave us.”
“Thank you.” He pushed off the ground and took the seat opposite her. He stared at her, drinking her in, until the servant had appeared with a tray of tea and placed it on the table between them.
“Leave us now, and be sure we are not disturbed.”
“Yes, madam.”
They waited, breath held, until they were alone. And then, the silence seemed to swirl around them like a whirlpool.
“I owe you an apology,” he broke it by saying, reaching forward and pouring some tea into a cup and handing it to her.
“Thank you.” Lilah took it and then fixed him with a questioning stare. “What for?”
“That night at the palace.” He shook his head angrily. “I was such a bastard to you. I had no right to treat you like that.” He looked away, unable to look at her e
yes as he dealt with the feelings of guilt that had plagued him since then. “I was so angry with you. I was furious that you wouldn’t acknowledge how you felt about me. I took it out on you with sex.” He dragged a hand through his blonde hair. “I thought I could make you see how good we were together.”
Lilah sipped her tea purely to give her blood pressure time to drop back into a normal range. “You have an incredible ability to make everything seem easy. But it wasn’t. Nothing about what I wanted from you was easy to imagine as attainable.”
“I know. I get it. I’ve seen how you live. I’ve seen your life. I understand now as I didn’t then how beholden you are to your people and your palace.”
“Yes.” She stood unsteadily and crossed to the window. The city sparkled beneath her like gems in a jewel box.
“But I need you to know that I loved you. That I hate how I treated you that night. When you think of me, don’t think of that. Please. Remember the woods. Remember fishing with me and building fires with me and laughing with me. Not that night.”
“Will.” She turned to face him, her expression a mask of confusion. “There was nothing wrong with that night.” Her cheeks flamed but she forced herself to make the admission. “I like remembering that night.”
He stood up and paced across the room to stand in front of her. “I’ve never been more surprised in my life than I was just now.” He shook his head ruefully. “Walking into that restaurant and finding you just sitting there. I thought I’d imagined it.”
She nodded. “I felt the same. I saw you come through the door and couldn’t actually believe it was you.” Her eyes squeezed shut. “And that you were on a date.”
“Yeah. It was a date.” He could see the pain dancing on her features and it filled him with the kind of hope that he knew to be deadly. It showed that she cared and he began to dream and wonder if maybe he wasn’t too late. “But only a second date.”
Lilah licked her lower lip. “What does that mean? Is that significant in some way?”
“It’s not serious,” he clarified. “I went back and told her about you, and then came straight here. To see you.”
Lilah expelled a soft breath. “I wanted to see you too.”
He nodded and then laughed. “God, we’re just circling around this, aren’t we?” He gripped her face with both hands and stared into her eyes. “I am so in love with you.” She stared at him with obvious consternation and he leaned closer. “It’s all I came here to say. I don’t know how you feel. I don’t know what you want. But you need to know that I want to share my life with you.”
