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It’s all irrelevant anyway because I don’t have those feelings for her. I just don’t want to see her hurt or left alone.
I look Tavers in the eye and speak through a thick throat. “I have no claim over her. I don’t want a claim over her. If someone comes forward and that person genuinely cares for her, then yes, I’d let her go.”
I ignore the way those words taste sour in my mouth.
Tavers doesn’t say anything, just looks at me doubtfully. I hold his stare, hoping he takes my words for what they are. The truth. Would it bother me on some level if Doe were to leave? Yes. I have grown attached to her in a sense, but only in the way a friend grows attached to another friend out of concern for their well-being.
I feel Tavers’ eyes on me as I walk to the grill and flip the steaks.
“Just watch yourself, James,” he says, still leaning against the railing. “It has a way of sneaking up on you.”
My only response is a grunt. He doesn’t say anything more, and I’m relieved the subject is dropped. I may not feel for Doe the way Tavers thinks I do, but that doesn’t make the conversation any less painful.
Thirty minutes later, Doe and Mindy are carrying side dishes outside and setting them on the table. Doe doesn’t seem as tense as she was when Tavers and Mindy first arrived, and I’m sure that’s Mindy’s doing. She has a way of making people feel comfortable around her. Although Doe still eyes Tavers wearily, her mannerism toward him isn’t as tense either.
We all take seats at the patio table on the back porch. I set a steak on Doe’s plate then mine. Next, I scoop some potato salad on both our plates then pass the bowl to Tavers, and he does the same for his and Mindy’s plates.
“Where’s Shelly?” I ask.
“At Mom’s for the night,” Tavers grumbles. “She wants to take her shopping tomorrow.” He rolls his eyes. “She’s only five and a half months old, and she’s already spoiling her rotten. How in the hell do you take a five-and-a-half-month-old baby shopping?”
Mindy laughs and slaps her husband’s arm with the back of her hand. “She just wants to spend time with her, and you know it. Let her be. We’ve kept Shelly to ourselves long enough.”
“Still don’t see why she wants to take a baby that young shopping. What’s the point? It’s not like she can give her opinion on anything Mom wants to buy.”
“The point is,” Mindy states, “she wants to buy pretty dresses and cute little bows for her only grandchild, and she wants to do it with her. It doesn’t matter if Shelly will sleep the entire time. She’s there with her; that’s all that matters.”
“You have a baby?” Does asks, her voice so low it’s barely heard.
Mindy looks over at her and grins. “We do. A beautiful little redhead.”
The look that Mindy’s words brings to Doe’s face is heartbreaking. Longing, so much fucking longing.
“We can bring her by sometime if you’d like,” Mindy offers.
Doe looks startled by the suggestion at first, but then a hint of curiosity replaces it. I get the feeling this idea interests her. “I’d like that.”
“Good. I’ll have David get with Niko about a time next week.”
Tavers, Mindy, and I enjoy small talk as Doe silently listens, only joining in when she’s prompted by a question aimed her way. The sun is starting to set, but the lights on all four corners of the porch afford us enough light to continue our meal. By the time we finish eating, Doe seems to be more at ease with our guests, and I’m thankful the dinner went as well as it did. Her lips even twitched a couple of times at one of the embarrassing stories Mindy told about Tavers and his pathetic flirting attempts before they got together. I know it was hard on Doe, but in the end, I hope she enjoyed herself. She pushed past her fears, and I couldn’t be more proud of her.
Tavers and I help the women carry the dishes inside. Mindy insists on helping Doe clean up. While they do that, Tavers and I take a seat on the couch and catch the last thirty minutes of the Browns game. When Doe and Mindy walk back into the living room, I notice that Doe looks tired. Her eyes droop and dark circles appear under her eyes. It’s been a stressful day for her.
Luckily, I don’t have to be a dick and ask them to leave. Tavers sees the fatigued look as well, stands, and walks over to Mindy.
“You ready to go? It’s getting late.”
She smiles at Tavers and clasps her hand in his. “I am.” She turns to Doe. “It was so great meeting you. Let Niko know when a good day is for us to stop by with Shelly.”
“Okay.”
Doe walks beside me as we both lead them to the door. Mindy stops and spins around. “Do you have a phone?” she asks Doe.
“I do, but it’s next door,” she replies.
Mindy looks at me. “Text Tavers her phone number.” She looks back at Doe. “If you need anything, even if it’s just to talk, text or call me.”
Doe nods.
