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Grandkids? This man has grandkids?
I assist Steven in placing the rest of the parts into the box, separating them into three different boxes to distribute the weight more easily.
We carry the boxes out behind the barn, and I’m captivated by how dark it is out here in the country. The atmosphere is eerily quiet, not a siren or gunshot to be heard for miles and miles.
As a kid, I never knew what it was that freaked my dad out about visiting my grandmother in the country, but now I get it. There’s something arcane and sinister about the silence, like it’s waiting for you to fill it with your screams.
Steven locates a key hidden behind a loose brick along the walkway, unlocking the shed and pulling the light string to reveal multiple barrels of hydrochloric acid.
He sets down his box next to one of the barrels. “Yeah. It’s a lot, but it does what it needs to. For a while, we were feeding the remains to the pigs, but that got to be too risky. If your meat tastes like shit, they won’t eat it very fast. Most Americans taste like shit.”
Setting down my box carefully, I watch Steven place one arm into the barrel, then a foot, then Cole’s head. The hissing noise as the acid dissolves the pieces reminds me of the sound of my mom pouring a can of sprite into a glass for me when I was sick as a kid.
I turn away, walking outside to get some fresh air. The difference is night and day.
Steven doesn’t follow after me. He continues to place the parts into the barrels until he’s gone through each box, even the ones that I carried here.
Finally, after everything is finished, he joins me outside.
“It can be a lot when you actually do it yourself. I understand you’re kind of the big boss where you’re from, yeah?” he asks as he lights a cigarette.
“Big enough not to do this kind of shit myself,” I confess.
“You did this for a girl then. You must really love her. I don’t know anyone man enough to take a man apart for his wife. She’s lucky to have you,” he continues, taking a long drag from his cigarette.
I laugh. “Yeah, I really do.”
We stand in silence for what feels like hours, just staring up at the stars as they shine with no interference from city light pollution. Despite how disgusted I am with what I’ve just done, I can’t stop thinking about Cam, about how much she needs me. She fills me with such an effervescent, pure love that I’ve never felt before. That’s how I know I need to keep her.
