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22
CAMBRIA
This whole entire revenge fantasy was stupid and immature of me. My brother worked so hard to keep me safe from people like Abram, and I landed right into his lap, allowing him to insult me and my integrity. I’m so angry at him that I don’t think I could ever look him in the eye without wanting to stab him through it.
I pack my most important possessions into a backpack with some clothes, making sure to leave enough space for all of the cash I need to pull out of my lockbox on the other side of the city. I’m not sure how much it will be exactly, but I know it’ll be heavy. I need as much as I can carry so long as it doesn’t get me arrested or questioned by the police.
In moments like this, I wish that Marcus had actually taught me a thing or two about how to live on the street. I wish he had taught me how to talk to the police, how to hide my valuables when I’m traveling, or how to disappear into thin air if my lover decides to turn on me.
He tried so hard to keep me safe that my safety might be in danger because of it.
As I pack, I notice a missed call on my phone from Abram, followed by a voicemail. My heart jumps at first, but my bitterness and resentment overcome my desire to hear what he has to say.
A large part of me wants to hear his voice more than anything, but that’s just the piece of me that hasn’t fully come to grips with what happened. My brain knows what my heart doesn’t.
He doesn’t deserve my time at all.
Before I step out of my apartment, I give in to my curiosity and open the voicemail. As soon as I hear him begin to speak, my heart breaks. He’s clearly hurt and feeling very vulnerable. The desperation in his voice fills me with a deep sadness that overflows into heavy tears that stream down my cheeks.
Iwantto be there for him, but I know I can’t be. I shouldn’t be.
It’s over.
I put my phone away and turn to leave, coming face to face with Ariella.
God, please, just let me leave!
“Hey, you going somewhere? Your bag looks really heavy,” she says, doing her best to come across as friendly instead of nosy like she’s been accused of being.
“Oh, um, yeah,” I reply awkwardly. It’s clear already that something is going on with me. Now all she has to do is pry it out.
“Something going on?” she asks, craning her neck forward with genuine concern.
I consider lying, but Ariella knows me better than anyone else here, even Abram. She’s become a big sister to me in a lot of ways, and that’s given her an insight into the way I behave. She knows when I’m lying. There’s no point in fighting it.
“I’m leaving,” I confess after what feels like ages. “Things have gotten too intense between Abram and me, and it’s not healthy for me anymore.”
“You know he’s on his way to the hospital right now, right?” she asks with concern in her eyes. “You might regret leaving if you don’t go see him.”
I shrug. “I don’t know if you heard, but he’s said some completely heinous shit to me. Stuff about me, my brother, whatever. He did the best he could to hurt me and push me away, so I’m giving him what he wants,” I say.
She smiles softly with melancholy eyes. “You know he’s just got a bad temper. He really does care about you a lot. He wants to protect you,” she replies earnestly.
I scoff. “Well, if that’s who he is when he cares about someone, then I don’t want him,” I reply as the bitterness in me begins to boil over again.
“I think you’re making a mistake. You two can work it out. He speaks so highly of you,” she says, taking my hand in both of hers. “You’re the best woman he’s ever had. In every way.”
“Then he shouldn’t have said all that shit. I’m leaving, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it,” I say as I begin to lose my patience. “Anyway, I need to find someone who can help me change my name, or at least can help me get fake documents with a new name. Do you know anyone?”
Ariella sighs. “Well, yes, I do. There’s someone here for basically every kind of illegal business. What all do you need?”
“A new social security card, photo ID, birth certificate, and passport,” I say flatly. She doesn’t need to know where I’m going, but she needs to know what I want in order to help me.
She hesitates. “Okay, fine. I’ll call Danny and see what he can do.”
“Oh, and Ariella? Abram never hears one word about this. Not ever,” I say sternly. “I need to completely disappear.”
