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CHAPTER 1
Any minute now.
Addisyn gripped her thighs so hard she could feel the sweat from her palms, even through her tights. What was taking so long?
After the frosty temperature of the ice rink where she had performed, the backstage area felt warm, even stuffy. It wasn’t enough, though, to keep her teeth from chattering, or goose bumps from crawling up and down her arms. The climate of her mind, not of the room, was responsible for those reactions.
Addisyn glanced at the benches that lined the area. Most were occupied by competitors just as nervous as she was. The blond, willowy skater currently in first place was biting her lip and clutching a teddy bear one of her fans had tossed onto the ice. Like that of nearly everyone else in the crowded room, her gaze was riveted to the giant screen that gave the skaters isolated in the green room access to footage of the event—other performances, commentary, and of course, final scores.
Although there were almost seven thousand people in the arena, stacked row upon row around the rink, no trace of the crowd’s murmur penetrated the soundproof walls. Inside the little chamber, silence spread like a slow shadow—the silence of agonizing impatience that the chatter of the TV couldn’t begin to break.
156.65.No need to repeat the numbers to herself again. They were tattooed on her brain, the digits of the score she’d received for what was certainly the most momentous performance of her life. A good score, sure—at the time she finished her performance, she’d led the field—but would it be good enough?
Since her program had been only halfway through the whole event, she’d undergone the torturous experience of watching other competitors and waiting each time in breathless suspense for their scores. Three of those scores had been incredible—meaning that she’d been displaced, over the course of the competition, to fourth place. The pewter medal position.
For a girl who considered any medal besides gold to be a consolation prize, that was hard to stomach. Addisyn took a deep breath. She had to remember that her placement, as galling as it was to her competitive soul, was excellent for a competition of this caliber.
Anyway, this was just a stepping stone, a link in the championship chain. Brian said she only needed to medal in this event—any color would do.
And now, she’d almost done it. The very last competitor had just finished her skate, and the judges were deliberating over her score. In a few minutes, Addisyn would either be clutching a pewter medal and cruising on a smooth highway toward her dream...or...
No. She couldn’t acknowledge the alternative. Thinking about what was riding on this event made her heart rate triple. When she’d first started competing in the world of figure skating, she’d assumed that the hard part was over as soon as she struck her final pose, snapped on her skate guards, and made her way through the gaggle of reporters to the green room. She’d reasoned that sitting in that post-performance area, shaking hands with other competitors and waiting to hear the final scores, would be simple, even relaxing, compared to the rigors of competing. She’d quickly learned, however, that the most difficult moments—the ones that made souls soar or dreams crumble, the ones that could catapult skaters into glowing futures or toss them into the ditch—happened not on the ice, but afterwards.
In rooms just like this one.
Seeking a distraction, her eyes roamed over the plain, sparsely furnished area. A banner fluttering over the EXIT sign snagged her attention. LAKE PLACID OLYMPIC CENTER.
Her spirit tingled all over again at the sight. Lake Placid. Home of the 1932 and the 1980 Olympic Winter Games, now the host venue for the U.S. Eastern Sectional Figure Skating Championships.
And skating on the ice of a former Olympic rink was a good reminder: she wasn’t stopping here. She was going on—on to the U.S. Nationals—on to the Olympic Games!
At least, she hoped she was. Her mind darkened with doubts as she recalled the many setbacks she’d faced—the injury that curtailed her last season, the frustrating weeks of recovery, her disappointing performance at Regionals only a month ago. Hurriedly she shoved the fears away. Why let yesterday’s failures dampen her hopes today? That was then.
And this was Now—a glorious Now that would lead to an even more glorious future. If all went as planned...
Addisyn felt hands on her shoulders, adjusting her jacket collar, pulling it more securely around her neck. “Hey, baby. Don’t be nervous.”
She turned and tried to muster a smile for Brian. Despite his encouraging words, there was quite a bit of “nervous” written across the face of the man who’d been much more than her coach for the last three years. His hands stayed on her shoulders, soothing her. She allowed herself to lean into his supportive gesture, drawing from his strength.
“Did I do okay?” Her whisper sounded hoarse; the anticipation had turned her mouth to cotton. She’d already asked him the same question a dozen times since her performance, but she needed to hear his answer again.
“Better than okay. Great. Incredible. Undefeatable.” A proud grin spread across Brian’s handsome face. “I already told you, you’ll medal. Promise.”
He leaned toward her, clearly seeking a kiss, but she jerked away and turned her head. “Brian! Not now. Please.” How could he even consider romance at a time like this, when her future dangled by a spiderweb and her emotions were stretched thin with tension?
“Okay, okay.” Brian held up his hands in a defensive gesture and shot Addisyn a disgusted look. “Just trying to make you feel better, baby.”
“This isn’t a good time.” Irritation snarled inside her soul, struggling for release, but she forced herself to keep her voice low. Fortunately none of the other contestants seemed to be paying attention to their conversation.
Brian’s eyes snapped cold blue sparks. “Yeah, well, you never seem to think it’s a good time anymore.” He folded his arms and angled his body away from her—as if punishing her for her refusal.
Addisyn pretended not to notice—either his words or his body language. No way was she going to fight this battle with him again—not here, not now, and not in front of all her figure skating peers. Like a maddening insect at a picnic, her annoyance with Brian invaded her soul, begging to be noticed. After all, she’d already explained to him over and over that she wished he would focus less on the physical part of their relationship. Why wouldn’t he listen?
Brian was intentionally ignoring the screen. Addisyn frowned and yanked her jacket sleeves down further over her hands. Fine. Later she’d have to try to calm him down, but right now, her impatience was consuming all her emotional resources. Let him sulk if he wanted to.
Wistfully she pictured them as they had been in the earlier days of their relationship, when every moment had been magic. What had happened to them, anyway?
Probably it was just the stress of the last two seasons, with the maelstrom of wins and losses and practices and disappointments. The strain was sure to fray any relationship. But after today—after the medal—things would be good again between them.
