Page 70 of Almost Maybes


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Jackson nodded, swallowing back the curse on the tip of his tongue. Oleander reached out and put her hand on his chest, as if she could calm him down. It worked, actually.

“I was never actually going to choose any of them, but I was doing it because it was what my grandmother wanted, what wasexpectedof me.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Oleander sighed. “Because I want you to understand that with me, what you see is what you get. I’m not ever going to be like women you see in magazines or movies or in porn and I don’t even know if I want to get married or have a family.”

Jackson leaned in slightly and kissed the tip of her nose. “Thank you for telling me. I’m not expecting you to be anyone else—I like you for who you are and that’s not going to change.”

“Promise?”

He nodded and Oleander smiled, making his heart gallop. And Jackson realized that he should be honest with her too.

“Earlier, in the car,” he started, “I said that if we broke up, I’d get back to life before you.”

Oleander nodded, walking her fingers across his hand.

“I lied.”

“Oh?”

Jackson cleared his throat. “I don’t think I could ever go back to life before you. I’d fight like hell to keep you in my life, because this feels good. I like who I am with you and I don’t want to lose that.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“I’m afraid I’ll do something to fuck it all up.”

“One of us is going to do something stupid eventually, Jackson, we can’t avoid it.”

“I know, but I want us to have a painless relationship.”

“That’s a myth, they don’t exist,” Oleander whispered, sliding a little closer to him. “My parents have been together for close to 50 years and they still fight. My mother leaves home for a few days at a time to give them a break from each other.”

“So you’re saying in 50 years, you’ll take days off from me because I’m driving you insane?”

Oleander laughed, cupping Jackson’s face in her hand. “Exactly. Because no matter how many years we’ve been together, it’s not always going to be painless.”

“I feel like I’ve had enough heartbreak for someone my age. Then I look at my dad and realize he’s had it worse,andhe had to raise three kids at the same time.”

“Look at it this way,” Oleander explained, stroking his cheek, “If your dad can get up and move on with his life and my parents can make a marriage work for so long, we can get through a little heartache and struggles.”

“Moral of the story, if we fuck up, we put the pieces back together.”

“And we do it together.”

“I really hope I’m not the one to fuck it all up.”

“Ass,” Oleander laughed, gently poking him in the chest before she moved closer, pressing herself against him. “But can we stop talking now?”

Instead of answering her, Jackson leaned in and kissed her, his fingers holding her chin. Oleander sighed against his mouth, her fingers finding purchase in his hair, like they always did. Jackson’s hand left her chin to stroke over her jaw and down her neck, to her shoulder and stopped at her elbow. Oleander leaned into him further, getting rid of any and all space between their bodies. She lifted one leg up over Jackson’s side and smiled into the kiss as his hand slid down to rest on her ass.

The kiss grew desperate and Jackson groaned as Oleander slid her hands under his shirt, the cool tips of her fingers brushing against his warm skin. Jackson shivered and Oleander giggled against his mouth. But she wasn’t done—her hands were moving, gently pushing him onto his back. Jackson lay back and looked up as Oleander straddled his hips.

His hands settled on her waist as Oleander lifted her t-shirt up and tossed it aside. And she did the one thing that made him laugh, but also fall completely in love with her right there and then. Oleander unhooked her bra and let out the loudest sigh of relief. Her body instantly relaxed as her hips pressed against his.

Jackson chuckled, bringing Oleander’s attention back to him. “Don’t laugh, those fuckers hurt.”

“Can’t you wear one of those…sports bra thingies?”

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