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“Christ.” Ollie huffed, trying to understand how to let this guy down. It had been a long time since a guy had been this vocal about asking her out. Some would slip her their number, others would hit on her and walk away when Ollie turned her glare on them. Not Jackson. He was either not good at reading her glares, or he didn’t care.
“Seriously, why not?”
“You’re too young to be asking me out.”
“We already established I’m not 12.”
Ollie gestured for Jackson to move aside to let another customer through, “I’m not interested.”
“Will you kill me if I ask why?”
“Yes.” She sighed, opening a beer for the other customer. “Look, I’m not interested in dating or romance. I don’t have the time or the desire to fall in love and whatever else is going to happen here.”
“Why do you think that’s what it is?”
“Because Jackson, you haveromancewritten all over you. You look like the kind of guy who wants to woo a woman and charm her. I’m not that girl.”
Jackson frowned and Ollie hated that she was being so honest and brutal. When he spoke, his voice was soft, “What kind of girl are you?”
“The kind that likes to fuck and walk away.”
Her words clearly had the desired effect, because Jackson’s face fell and he took a step back, taking his beers with him. Ollie watched him turn around and head for one of the tables, her heart racing. She hadn’t meant to be so harsh, but given that Jackson wasn’t getting the hint, Ollie felt like she needed to be honest and maybe a little assertive.
As her shiftcame to an end, Ollie caught sight of Jackson and his friends walking out. He met her eyes and offered her a small smile which Ollie returned on instinct. There was nothing wrong with Jackson, but more with his gender. Ollie had her issues with men stemming from her first serious heterosexual relationship and ever since, she struggled to connect with men without worrying about everything else that came with it.
Sure, she’d hooked up with Joey, but it had been one weekend—what he didn’t know was Ollie had a panic attack in the bathroom afterwards. She’d brushed away her tears and smoothed down her hair before crawling back into bed with him.
Her first serious relationship with a man had ended badly. When she got emotional, he teased her. When she put on a little more weight, he mocked her. When she worked long hours, he berated her. But Ollie assumed it was because she wasn’t able to split her time and prioritize properly. That it washerfault.
And when Pierce started mocking the obviously sensitive topic of arranged marriages and forcing Indian women to marry men for their money or their wealth, Ollie started getting frustrated with him. As always, Pierce believed being well educated meant he could criticize an old Indian tradition with big impact words—archaic, ridiculous, pathetic. The whole time they were together, she never once told him horror stories of her arranged marriage meetings, because he would have used that against her too.
Ollie didn’t hate men, she didn’t trust them or herself when she was with them. She didn’t trust women either. All of her relationships had left her feeling empty, lonely and unworthy. While she knew going on one date with Jackson wouldn’t do anything, it was the awareness that Jackson was the kind of guy who liked relationships that made her hesitate.
He was younger, but Ollie knew that age was just a number. He was old enough to make his own decisions and know what he wanted. And apparently he wanted her. Ollie had seen the determination in his eyes when he came to the bar and the sadness when she shut him down. Ollie needed to get through this date with the dude from NASA, tell her family it wasn’t going to work and get back to her life.
And do all of it without thinking about what it would feel like to give Jackson a chance.
