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“I don’t think I understand.”
“That’s right. You don’t. Have you listened at all to Rafael since the night of the Skywriter party? Have you had an actual conversation with him or have you just pushed him away?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business really.”
“It’s absolutely my business when you’re making someone I care for miserable.”
“Me?” I shriek. “He was making love to me, telling me he loved me just hours before he walked into a very public event with you on his arm. It was very apparent you two know things about each other. Very intimate things. How do you think that made me feel?”
“I know exactly, actually. He shouldn’t have kept us from you.”
Her words both knock the air right out of me and make me so angry I begin to vibrate on the inside. “So you admit there was or is and us. I mean a you.” My voice raises an octave. “You know what I mean.”
Nicolette leans in with her arms folded across the table. When I saw her at Skywriter, she was absolutely flawless. Today, she seems exhausted. There are hints of dark circles resting under her eyes. “Rafael and I have had what we have for a number of years. What he’s been trying to tell you for weeks is that we are in a committed but open relationship. That to us means we have mutual admiration, respect, and love for each other, but we also, under certain rules, are able to have intimacies with others. I know that concept isn’t publicly accepted. It’s what works for us. I should say it worked for us. Ava, he’s in rough shape.”
“What do you mean?”
“He told me what happened yesterday.” Those six words linger long in the air around us. There is no amount of grounding that can help me now. “I got a text message from Rafael’s father late last night. He was concerned by a conversation he’d had with Rafael. Antonio doesn’t reach out for simply nothing. I ended up tracking Rafi’s phone to a small town southwest of the city. I believe it was a city that means something to you both?”
My jaw hangs open slightly. I can feel my pulse begin to pick up in my neck. My heartbeat begins to echo in my ears. “It does. Isn’t tracking his phone a tad extreme?”
“I use it in large crowd situations and it’s the first time I’ve done it at his father’s request. I found him in the back corner of a small bar, on a corner of Main Street. By the looks of the table, he was two double shots and six mixed drinks in. I have no idea how long he’d been there.”
“Oh my God. Why would he do that?”
“Are you asking me or is that rhetorical? I feel like you’re smarter than that. He is sadder than I’ve ever seen him in all the time I’ve known him. His spark is so dull I often wonder if he’ll ever get it back.”
“That’s not my fault,” I tell her.
“This is not about blame. It’s about Rafael being in love with you.”
“He can’t be in love with me and be with you.”
“He can, but it’s not what he wants anymore. I don’t want this for him. He started this slow descent after the party. He honored his commitments, but was checked out. We were in Italy for a couple days and he wandered alone a lot. All he talked about was getting back to Georgia. Yes, it was the work. He’s very happy with Skywriter. After last night, I know more than that, it’s about you.”
I look down at my folded hands on the table. I’m hoping to focus on them and not the emotions I feel bubbling beneath the surface. I quietly whisper, “Where is he now?”
“He was still asleep in my bed when I left. I think he’ll be there for a while. Before you get angry about that, I couldn’t take him to his house. I don’t know where it is. He’s never had me there. Also, I know about the vacation you took with him.”
“Did he tell you?”
“I saw his bracelet. I recognized the carvings. Luciano’s?”
“Yeah. Second to the last day we were there, we went shopping. We’d been walking most of the day when we ducked into their door to escape a stray shower. We were peeking in the cases when I saw it. Rafael was speaking in part Spanish, part Italian to the owner. His wife was able to wrap it for me to give to Rafael. He still has it on?”
“He does. Ava, do you love him? Not just love him like you don’t want to see him hurt, but love him like there is no one else in the world.”
“I love him very much. Love isn’t the problem.”
“Then what is? We’re both intelligent women, who love the same man differently. I don’t think there is a problem we can’t solve.”
“Nicolette, I can’t have this conversation with you.”
“You’d better have it with someone. He needs you. You’re the only one who can fix him. He’s tried every opportunity you’d allow to say he was sorry and that he screwed things up. Are you that stubborn? Does he need to be perfect?”
“You don’t know me. I love him for exactly who he is. He could never make one more film and it wouldn’t matter. My problems are how will I know he’s not going to lie to me again, and I don’t want an open relationship.”
“The only time he’s ever lied is when it comes to you. That’s one of the reasons I know that when I let him go, he will be faithful.”
