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“Hey!” The panic in my tone permeates the entire room, and several pairs of eyes swing my way.
“Kiersten,” Dr. Fischer calls, and my wide eyes shift to hers. “He’s having a little trouble breathing, so they’re going to take him to the NICU for oxygen. I don’t want you to worry. This is not uncommon for thirty-six weekers.”
Inhaling a long deep breath through my nose, I blow it out and nod. As I calm, she turns her attention to Nathan.
“Why don’t you follow and get a few pictures so she can see him?”
I turn my still-bobbling head to him. “Yeah. Please. I want to see him.”
“Will you be okay here alone?”
The nod I answer with is desperate. My son outweighs any concern for myself.
Nathan takes off after another kiss to my forehead, and I lie back on the bed. The riot of thoughts around my head are unpleasant. I close my eyes to quash them and listen to the nurses and doctor chatter.
It doesn’t help.
This evening started wild with my discovery at Nathan’s house, and the rest has been a whirlwind. It’s past ten p.m., I haven’t eaten since lunch, and I just birthed a baby in a matter of hours. Nobody bats an eye as I burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs.
Dr. Fischer pats my calf. “Let’s get her a light sedative,” she orders, and I don’t argue. That sounds good right about now. Something to take the edge off but keep me conscious in case I can see my baby.
We haven’t even discussed names yet. I’m already screwing up this parenting thing.
Moments later, a nurse pushes something into my IV, and I allow the relaxation to wash over me. My hormones calm marginally. I lie back without feeling the need to run out of the room and chase after the doctor who stole my son.
The snap of the doctor’s gloves causes me to open my eyes, and she pats my knee.
“You’ve done well, Kiersten. I’ll be right back.”
Maybe if I had paid more attention, I would have seen the strain on her face. I could have asked some questions. I would have done more than roll to my side and close my eyes.
I didn’t know anything was wrong until it was too late.
The thought didn’t have a chance to cross my mind that as I fall asleep, I might not wake up.
28
Nathan
“Oh my god! He’s so beautiful.” Cami looks up from the pictures on my phone with tears in her eyes and tucks herself beneath Law’s arm. I went to tell them the good news after spending about twenty minutes with my son.
God, I have a son. Every time it crosses my mind, I have to rub the ache in my chest. I never knew I could love someone so wholly and instantly until I laid eyes on him, no matter that he was covered in blood and goo. After snapping pictures from every angle from the window of the NICU, I just stood there and watched him, wrapped in the knowledge that he exists.
“How’s Kiersten?” she asks.
I tuck my phone into my back pocket. “I should get back to her. She was worried, and they were cleaning her up, so I came to get some pictures. You should have seen her. She was incredible.”
“I’ll call and update her parents. They wanted to be here, but with the late hour and her grandparents, thought it’d be best to wait until morning to make the drive. Send me a picture to text her mom.” Cami’s excitement shines through her glassy eyes.
“Mr. Reede! You need to come now.” The urgency in the nurse’s voice hits me like an arrow in my heart. I exchange a glance with my friends, noting the blatant concern, and without another word, I take off in a jog. I catch up easily to the nurse, and we take a fast pack to Kiersten’s room.
“What happened?”
“She’s having some blood loss. The doctor thinks she’ll need surgery.”
I pick up my pace. The nurse doesn’t stand a chance against my long strides. I round the corner to Kiersten’s room so fast my boots squeak on the linoleum. Her prone form is visible from the doorway and squeezes the breath from my lungs in a rush. Her pallor concerns me but what makes me panic are her closed eyes.
Ignoring the footsteps behind me, I rush to her bed and shake her roughly. “Kiersten.”
