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I shook my head and lay on my bed, pulling my comforter around me like a shield. One day. Just one day, and then everything would be back to normal.
I hoped.
Chapter Two
BRODY
They always said you never knew what was around the corner.
I didn’t know who they were, but I did know they were right. It had taken seconds for my world to implode. Seconds for everything to go to shit. And hours to unsuccessfully come up with a way to fix it.
I didn’t know what to do or where to go from here, all I did know was I needed to see Lola and try to explain a second time. Explain what I didn’t know—that everything had changed? That from the moment I’d touched her, nothing would be the same again? She wouldn’t believe me, hell, I hadn’t believed me.
I’d told myself she was a job at first, and then our lips had touched, and she became more than that. I hadn’t been lying when I said we’d talk when I got back. I just hadn’t been sure what I was going to say.
If I were honest with myself, I probably wouldn’t have told her about my wife and son—Cade and Moira. Maybe it was a good thing she knew now. I could move on, and so could she. We could go our separate ways and be done with it.
Since the moment I turned twenty and Cade was born, I’d done everything for my family. I’d become the best version of me, and I’d worked my ass off to provide for them, but in the process, I’d lost myself. I’d forgotten who I was.
I’d forgotten Brody Easton.
I moved my head to the side and stared at Moira’s light-blond hair. It surrounded her like a halo, but I couldn’t help wish it was someone else’s hair spread out on the pillow beside mine. How could I lie in bed with my wife while wishing she was someone else? We’d always been fairly solid, and we’d worked through the routine of me going away a lot.
Right up until the day I’d kissed Lola.
&nbs
p; Shit.
I wasn’t that man. I wasn’t the one who looked at other women. I was loyal to a fault. But that had changed somewhere along the way, and it was all because of her.
Jord and the guys had been right, I’d needed to go home and remember who I was, remember who my family was. It wasn’t the first time I’d gotten so deep into a job that I forgot what waited for me in my own house, but it was the first time I’d touched another woman since saying “I do.”
I was a piece of shit. A dick. A fuckin' prick. But I still couldn’t stop thinking of the way Lola and I would wake up in each other’s arms. Her leg tossed over mine, her soft snores ringing through my ears, and my palm on her ass, holding her to me as if I was afraid she’d escape at a moment’s notice.
The alarm beeped so loudly I jumped. It was time to start a new day and wade through the mess I’d made. I wouldn’t admit the thought of seeing Lola today sent a thrill through me, but I would admit it was time we closed the case. Things wouldn’t get any better if I were there for another four months, that much was clear. I had to create a path that would bring me home as soon as possible and back to the man I’d promised to be.
“Morning,” Moira’s soft voice said as she stretched out next to me. Her head tilted to face me, her blue eyes meeting mine. “It’s so weird to have you back in bed.”
“I know,” I grunted. “You get used to sleeping on your own.”
She nodded and moved closer to me, her hand resting on my chest, and I had to hold myself still not to move it. She was my wife, not a random chick, but the way her palm burned through my T-shirt had my skin itching all over, begging me to move away from her.
“You heading back today?”
She knew how it worked, she knew I’d be gone more than I was here, and she’d never been opposed to it. Sometimes I wondered if she preferred it when I was away.
“Yeah.” I smiled down at her. “I shouldn’t be gone as long this time though. We’re close to solving it.”
Her lashes fluttered as she blinked, another new addition since I’d been back. There was a time when Moira only wore jeans and a T-shirt, her face covered in minimal makeup and her nails short. But over the years, she’d changed as much as I had. Her lashes were fake, her nails too, and her hair flawlessly shiny. It wasn’t that I resented that. I didn’t blame her for what I did, but I couldn’t deny the obvious changes over the years.
“Good.” She placed a kiss on my cheek and pulled back, pushing the covers aside and getting out of bed. “Cade misses you when you’re gone.” Not we miss you, but Cade misses you.
I stared at her as she moved around the room, a room I’d spent less time in over the years than the undercover apartments. This wasn’t home to me. It wasn’t the place where I felt at my most comfortable, but it was where Moira and Cade were, which meant it had to be home.
I lay there for entirely too long as she took a shower and then sat at her vanity, covering her face with makeup and doing her hair. She pressed the lid on her perfume bottle and tossed the scent into the air. I couldn’t help but frown at the action. Why didn’t she just spray it directly on her body?
I had to get up and start my day, but I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. What if today was the day that things got even worse? Could they even get worse than they already had? I wasn’t sure, but I wouldn’t find out by staying here.
