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“You know, I imagine Mr. Raven will help with all this,” my mother said as I looked at a baby swing and wondered how it would fit into our little apartment. She was right, but it was important to me that I would be able to take care of me and my baby, just in case he tossed us both aside when I finally told him the truth. The baby had just been made all the more real at my doctors’ appointment on Friday, where I heard the heartbeat and saw its form on the sonogram. It brought home how important it was that I tell him the truth sooner rather than later.
But now, I suspected he knew the truth. It was the only explanation for how low and dark his voice had sounded. How abrupt and demanding he’d been.
“Are you alright, honey?” My mother reached over and patted my hand.
“That was Kade.” I lifted my gaze to her. “I think he knows.”
Her brows lifted. “Oh? What did he say?”
“He said he was at our apartment and he had to see me now.”
Her expression softened. “He probably just misses you.”
I shook my head. “No. He said it angrily.”
“I guess it’s time then, isn’t it? I’ll be there to support you.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted her to hear what was going to be said. At the same time, I wasn’t sure I could face him alone. I didn’t feel unsafe. No, all I felt was shame and regret.
I paid for our meal and then hailed a cab so mom wouldn’t need to navigate the subway. We got off at our stop, and started on the few blocks walk to our apartment. The closer we got, the more my stomach churned.
“You can do this, Morgan. You’re a strong woman. You face your fears, and right now, you have to face your mistake.” My mother slipped her arm through mine as we came around the corner to our apartment building.
Kade sat on the front stoop, and my heart ached at the sight of him. His head was down, and he looked a bit broken. I’d done that to him. My mom was right. I needed to face him. To take whatever anger he needed to throw at me.
His head lifted, and his eyes darkened when he saw me. He stood and appeared to check his expression when he saw my mom.
“Mr. Raven.” My mother reached out and took his hands. “I have to thank you so much for what you’ve done for me. I’m a proud woman, so accepting your help is difficult, but I feel like you’ve given me my life back. There’s so much to look forward to, and I can’t wait to be a part of it all.”
My mom was sweet and smart. Kade might not know it, but she was trying to remind him that the future held a baby. This moment, as hard as it was, would pass. In the future, joy awaited us.
“Please call me Kade, and it’s my pleasure, Mrs. Andrews.” He managed a smile, but I could see it was difficult for him.
“Please call me Lola. We’re like family now.”
He flinched, and looked at me. I could only imagine that he was upset that she’d know and not him.
Kade followed us into the building and our apartment.
“I’ll put on tea. Or would you rather have coffee, Mr. Rav — ah, Kade.”
“I don’t need anything, thank you Lola.”
My mother made her way to the kitchen. Kade waited until she disappeared, but it wouldn’t matter. She’d hear everything. The neighbors would too, probably.
“Is it true?” He stood close to me, keeping his voice low. I think he was trying to avoid being overheard, but it made him sound even more ominous. “The baby. Is it mine?”
I nodded. I couldn’t get the word, “yes” out of my mouth. “How did you find out?”
“Not from you. I trusted you. I was ready to give my life to you and some other man’s baby.”
Each word felt like a stab to my heart. It was my own fault. It was only right that I felt his pain as keenly as he seemed to be feeling it.
“Was there even another man? John?”
“No. Only you.”
“Why, Morgan?” The pain in his voice threatened to undo me. “What’s wrong with me that you couldn’t accept me in your life?”
“Nothing, Kade. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect, and — ” I struggled to know what to say. “We weren’t serious. It was a casual thing.”
“Only to you, Morgan. You’re the one that has kept your distance.”
“I was afraid you’d think I was trying to trap you. That I was a gold digger.”
He laughed derisively. “You really think I’d believe that, after how hard it was to get you let me help your mother? Fuck, Morgan, were we even living in the same reality?” He turned away, took a few steps as he inhaled a breath.
