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I tested the water, remembering that pregnant women were supposed to avoid hot tub level hot water. Deciding this was safe, I undressed and climbed in, scooting down until my upper body was in the water. I closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing.
Of course, the first thing that popped into my head was Kade. There was no meditating or relaxing with images of him rattling around up there. He seemed to have given up trying to reach me, which made me sad, because until I saw that text from Jolie, everything had been perfect. The way he’d been so gentle and caring the night before, when he touched me and made my body burn for him. How in the morning, it had been the same, so slow and sweet. I hadn’t known there were different speeds and moods to sex. I wondered if there were more. What other ways could we have been together that I hadn’t experienced? He once said he’d wanted to fuck my breasts. I looked down at them bobbing in the water. I imagined his dick sliding between them. My nipples puckered and hardened. I pinched them, and felt it straight to my pussy.
Kade had to have a whole list of ways to have sex. More than the few I knew of from reading romances. Doggie style. Standing up the shower. On a table — wait, we’d done that.
I rubbed my hand over my belly. “That’s when we made you.”
As hurt as I was, I couldn’t help but miss him and want him. I closed my eyes, imagining him here. Those sexy green eyes watching me as his hands did all sorts of wicked things to my body. I imagined his tongue sliding between my pussy lips.
I let out a gasp as my body responded. I reached down between my thighs, running my finger over my clit. I imagined he was sucking it while I gently pinched it.
“Kade,” I said in a low harsh breath.
I rubbed my hard nub with my fingers, pinching my wet nipple with my other hand, bringing my blood to a boil as I imagined Kade there. Touching me. Fingering me. Licking me. Finally, he would plunge his cock inside me, filling me until he was a part of me.
“Come on my cock,” he’d growl. God, I loved it when he said that. Even if only in my fantasy, it was the fire that lit the fuse sending me writhing into pleasure.
The orgasm was nice. The aftermath highlighted that I was alone diddling myself in the tub. I felt alone and pathetic. I got out of the tub, dried off, put on my shorts and t-shirt for bed, and then climbed under the covers. I wanted to cry, but I wouldn’t allow myself. What would crying do? Would it bring Kade here? No. Would it make my mother healthy? No. Would it bring me the security I needed to care for my baby? No. So what good was crying?
I rolled over, and tried to empty my mind. I knew things would look better in the morning. Alone at night in the dark, things always looked the bleakest. What was the saying? It was always darkest before the dawn. Boy, whoever coined that was right. Right now, it was pretty dark. Worse yet, it didn’t feel like I’d ever see a dawn.
23
Kade — Thursday
I stood in the shower with one hand on the tiles, and my other one furiously stroking my cock as I imagined Morgan’s mouth sucking me off. It wasn’t one of my best moments, but it had to be done. Thoughts of her were driving me mad. Not just with lust, although at this moment it was lust. But also, I missed being around her. It was ridiculous how much I liked her being with me, cooking in my kitchen. It was only ten minutes, but it was ten minutes of perfection.
I missed seeing the excitement and wonder in her eyes as her restaurant came to life. I wasn’t sure I was ever that into my own business. Well, maybe the first restaurant that was my own. But that was a long time ago.
“Suck it harder baby,” I gasped as I felt the pressure build in my balls. My hand flew up and down my wet cock. Fuck, that had been the other thing. Sliding inside her body bare, no barrier, was like heaven. She’d been slick and hot and tight, and it was so fucking awesome. I growled as my orgasm burst out, my cum spraying the tile wall.
I released my cock, placing my hand on the tile wall next to the other one. This crazy yearning had to end.
I rinsed off and climbed into bed, and I remembered what sent me to the shower in the first place. Her scent was still in my bed. How pathetic was I that I’d stopped my housekeeper from taking the sheets to be cleaned?
