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As we did the odd step-together-step up the aisle, Morgan leaned her head toward me. “Thank you for that.”
“For what?” I asked, inhaling her scent; it made me think of lavender and vanilla.
“For offering to fill in for Ben.”
“He’s an ass,” I said. And then I wondered if perhaps that was the right thing to say. I hadn’t ever met Morgan, but I’d known her family had worked for the McAdams for forever. She was likely loyal to him.
“He didn’t use to be,” she said. “But yes, he is one now. I’m so happy for Beth and Ash though, and not even Ben can ruin that.” She sighed in that way women did when they thought something was romantic. Of course, my dirty mind wondered if that was a sound she’d make if I licked her pussy.
To take my mind off lecherous thoughts, I looked to Ash standing at the altar to confirm what Morgan was saying. He did look like one happy bastard. His eyes were zeroed in first on his daughter Hannah, and then on Beth. His expression exuded love beyond any I’d ever felt. All my brothers looked on their wives like they carried the secret to happiness. It was a fucking mystery to me how one woman could become the be-all, end-all in their worlds. I couldn’t imagine it. I was a committed bachelor. The idea of spending the rest of my days with one woman made about as much sense as my father’s lame-ass plan to tie our inheritance to getting married and having kids.
My brothers had all been shot squarely in the heart by Cupid, and it had made them more bearable to be around, except when they were being sappy, like now. Even so, I couldn’t help but wonder what that was like to feel the love they clearly felt for their woman. To have a woman love them so whole-heartedly as their wives did. I knew I’d never felt that sort of love, and no woman had felt it for me. Sure, I’d had plenty of women declare their devotion to me, but I knew it was my bank account they loved, not me.
As we continued in our long slow line, I glanced at the voluptuous woman next to me. She wasn’t the first woman to make me think dirty thoughts, but there was something else to her that had me totally forgetting the long-legged wedding planner. Was that how sappy love started? Looking at a woman slightly differently? Was it possible that Cupid was simply biding his time, and that at some point a woman would capture my heart like had happened to my brothers? I laughed inwardly, knowing my brothers would say I didn’t have a heart.
But they were wrong. I’d never had my heart broken from a romantic relationship, but I’d been devastated when my mother died. I knew heartache. I knew rejection, first from my father, who had been all about business when I was growing up, and who instilled that hierarchy of priorities to my brothers and eventually me. As a child, my mother was the only warmth in the house. The only one who cared about something besides growing the business and money.
My father and brothers would say she spoiled me, and maybe she did. I was the baby of the family. Wasn’t that how birth order worked? What they didn’t seem to get was how much of her was a part of me. While they’d been off playing sports or whatever the fuck they did, my mother was teaching me to cook, and later encouraging me to pursue my passion for food.
My father thought being a chef was for pussies. Fortunately, my mother convinced him to put me in charge of the restaurants in the Raven Industries empire. It wasn’t the same as being a chef, but it kept me around food and the creation of it. Of course, once I had my own money, I began to buy my own restaurants, which was why I wasn’t feeling any pressure to marry and have kids now that my father decided he was wrong to push his all-work-no-play agenda on us.
“Kade, you’ll get the ring from Hannah and then hand it to Ash.” The wedding planner’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.
I acted out getting the ring from Hannah and handing it to Ash. I watched as Beth looked at Ash as he pretended to put the ring on her finger. She looked up at him like he was the center of the universe. My stomach clenched at the beauty of it. Would a woman ever look at me like that?
I wasn’t the type of man who inspired that kind of feeling from woman. I wasn’t cruel or rude to them, but I was always clear that sex was sex. There’d never be emotions or a relationship. As a result, women saw me like I saw them — a way to get off. There was no love or reverence in their eyes.
