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Instead, I moved with her on the dance floor, using every bit of self-control I had to keep from pulling her to me and pressing against her. Anyone looking too closely would see I was sporting a hardon. Ah, what I’d do to have her again. The urge grew as she relaxed and allowed her body to move with the music. She loved dancing, I remembered from our summer together. We often ended up at the same parties, and I watched her then. Getting hard and jerking off to images of her late at night tucked into my own bed.
As the summer wore on and we started seeing each other secretly, she’d jerk me off and I’d finger her to climax. In retrospect, I wish I fucked her sooner, but she was only eighteen and I hadn’t been sure of her experience. What mattered most to me back then was being with her. Being able to touch her heightened my enjoyment of spending time with her, but first and foremost my interest was simply in being near her.
She did a twirl and as she came around back to me, there was a smile on her face. My heart pumped hard in my chest at the sight of her. How was it that after six years of being apart, the need for her emotionally and physically was still so powerful? I didn’t know. And I didn’t care. All that mattered was that I figure out a way to convince her it was still there.
4
Beth – Saturday
I didn’t know what I was doing. I was supposed to be touring the club, discussing business, and then heading home. I blamed the signature drinks and cool holograms for the fact that I was dancing with the man who’d broken my heart and I vowed to always hate. That and the fact that I hadn’t gone out and had fun since that summer six years ago. There was no time for clubbing or hanging out with friends after that summer. A few weeks later after Ash left without a word, I was in Europe with my mother. Nine months later I was a mom. The only thing I’d done for me over the last six years was finish college.
I worked for my father’s company in Europe until he got sick and Ben needed help with him so he could take over the company. Once my father passed away, I still had my daughter, but now I also had Ben and our financial situation to worry about. There was no time for fun. It was why when I was dressing to go out, the best I could do was an old little black dress I had in high school. Thank God it still fit. Morgan, my friend and the one person who gave me the most support in my busy life, told me I looked good. “You look like you’re going to mix business and pleasure,” she said when she came over to babysit.
I didn’t want to mix business and pleasure, did I? The truth was, I was enjoying the dancing. It had been so long. The only dancing I did now was with my daughter. And if I was brutally honest with myself, I had to admit that it wasn’t because of the cool holograms, but the man who was standing so close to me that I could smell his cologne. I could watch his hazel eyes as they intently watched me.
I was supposed to hate this man. At the very least, resent him and treat him with cool disinterest. But Ash was acting like the man I remembered six years ago. Attentive, actively listening and responding to everything I said with interest. He was being sweet and kind. It made me wonder what the hell had happened six years ago. Who was the man that abandoned me without a word? Who sent my letter telling him about my pregnancy back without opening it? The fact that he hadn’t asked about our baby during this reunion indicated he had no idea about it. Now, it was my intention that he never find out about it, although my gut burned at the deception. It was wrong. But as nice as he was being now, he was also the man who left me without a word. I couldn’t trust him and I wouldn’t put my little girl through that kind of abandonment.
Ash leaned in close to me and his nearness sent my nerves haywire. Being near him was a heady experience.
“There’s more to see,” he said. He guided me from the dancefloor down a hallway with opaque glass rooms that had lights flashing behind them.
He motioned me into one and I realize the lights were from video game machines. I quirked a brow. “Video games in a club?”
