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Ouch. Still. Didn’t they see how she hurt me? “The fact that she thinks I’m the type of man that would hurt a child or take her child away tells me she doesn’t know or respect me.”
“Or she’s just afraid to lose the one thing she still has,” Hunter said, sounding more and more like Grace. “Her father’s dead. His business is dying. Her brother is a drunk. After all that, do you think you’d want to put all your eggs in the basket of a man who knocked you up and then left you instead of standing up to his father?”
Kade let out a whistle. “Thank you, Dr. Grace.”
Hunter shrugged. “If you love her, which I think you do otherwise you wouldn’t hurt so much, then you should fight for her.”
“He’ll look like a sap,” Kade said. “She’ll walk all over him.”
I didn’t think she’d do that, but I still couldn’t see how I could simply let go of the fact that she planned to keep my child from me.
“Life is messy,” Chase said. “I fell in love with Sara although I fought and kicked the whole way.”
“She didn’t betray you,” I pointed out.
“Grace tried to pull the same bullshit you are. She couldn’t be with me because I kept trying to fix things and only made it worse. Because she couldn’t trust I’d be faithful. And so on.”
“Really?” Kade asked.
Hunter rolled his eyes. “Yes, really. She was as fucked up as I was up here.” He pointed to his head. “But in the end, she had to decide if she’d rather take the risk and be happy with me, or let me go and always wonder what could have been. Thank fuck she chose the former.”
“It’s not the same,” I said.
“It is. Are you happier with her than without her? And does she feel the same?”
“I don’t know.” I looked down. “I told her I loved her, but she didn’t reply.”
“Ah fuck… that sucks,” Kade said.
“Your commentary doesn’t help, Kade,” Chase chastised. He looked at me. “You have time, Ash. Whatever you decide about you and Beth, you’ll still be together because of the child. Maybe time will change how you feel and maybe not. But Beth is in your life regardless.”
I nodded. “I know.” Feeling tired, I moved the meeting back to the McAdams purchase. In the end, they decided they wanted to go for it, but were still on the fence about Ben. Now they just had to convince dad.
Me, I was out of there. I was glad that none of them tried to talk me out of leaving the company. Maybe they knew I needed time to get to know my daughter. Or maybe they figured I’d get bored and come back. Whatever the reason, I was glad I didn’t have to argue with them about my decision.
I headed home, really wanting to go see Hannah, and if I was honest, Beth as well, although I didn’t see how I could get past what she’d done. At the same time, Hunter was right; I’d loved Beth for so long. If I couldn’t forgive her, would I regret that?
As I walked into the house, my phone beeped. Taking it out of my pocket, I saw a message from Beth.
Hannah wants to video chat. Do you have time?
It was still amazing to me that I was a father.
Yes.
A few seconds later, my phone rang indicating I had a video call. I picked it up.
“Hi, Daddy,” Hannah’s sweet face appeared on my screen taking my breath away.
“Hi, cutie pie. What’s up?” I walked out onto my terrace to enjoy the afternoon and chat with my daughter.
“I made you a picture. See?” She held up a paper that had three figures and what looked like a red cat on it. “It’s me, and you, and mommy, and the red panda.”
I studied the picture that had me and Beth on each side of Hannah. Like a unit. Like a family. “That’s beautiful. You’re a very good artist.”
“I like to color. Can I see your house someday?”
“Yes, absolutely.” I realized then that I needed to set up a room for her. I had several bedrooms, but most were pretty generic. None were designed with a five-year-old girl in mind. “You’ll need to pick a room you like and then we can decorate it.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Do you want mermaids?” I asked remembering her room at Beth’s.
“I want a zoo with red pandas.”
I laughed. “Then a zoo you’ll have.” As I chatted with her, I realized this would be how many of our interactions would go. Beth and I would have to share her, and that meant I’d probably be video chatting with her more than being with her. That didn’t sit very well. “Sweetie, can I talk to your mom?”
“Mommy he wants to talk to you.”
