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But Chase, now with Sara, he was different. He was the person I’d remembered before Dad had ruined us.
“What’s up?” I asked motioning for him to sit.
“That was quite a speech you gave.”
I shrugged. “I was annoyed.”
Chase grinned. “You used to take our heads off when you were annoyed.”
“I’ve been doing yoga.” Normally, I wouldn’t have admitted to that, but it seemed funny in this case, and I wasn’t particularly interested in heavy, deep and real talk at the moment.
Chase did laugh. “Sara had me doing that. Mostly, I do it because I like to watch her move. Even pregnant she—well…”
I nodded. “TMI, bro.”
His eyes narrowed, and I had the sense he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how. It made my body tense.
“I wanted to thank you for looking out for her when I’m away.”
The tension lessened slightly. “Sure.”
“I’m just curious about why you didn’t tell me you were doing it? You didn’t tell anyone.”
I rolled my shoulders as my guilt about Sara gathered in my gut. “It’s my job.”
“No, it’s not.” Chase leaned forward. “She’s my responsibility.” He scraped his hands over his face. “And I fucked it up big time.”
“No, you didn’t.”
He looked up at me, and I saw pain in his eyes. I knew that pain. It was the pain that guilt caused.
“I did. And oh, the price I paid. I made her pay.” He sat back in his chair. “I’ve never properly thanked you for being there for me.”
I didn’t know what to do with his gratitude.
He looked at me, cocking his head. “What?”
“It was my fault. What happened to Sara and your child is on me. You should be kicking my ass and running me out of the company.”
His brows shot to his hairline. “What?”
“It was my job to protect her. To find out about that douchebag ex and her pervert professor. It was my job to find her. I didn’t do any of that.”
“You did.”
“Not well enough.” A wave of sadness swept through me. “Jesus, Chase. I’m so sorry.” I realized I’d never told him that. Or Sara. “I hope you and Sara can forgive me.”
He watched me for a minute, and I wasn’t sure if he was gathering anger as he realized I was right or if he was just confused. “I don’t blame you, Hunter. Neither does Sara. It never occurred to either of us to blame you. No forgiveness is needed.”
“It is. It’s been fucking eating me alive.” I couldn’t believe I was sharing this with him. It was risky because while he wasn’t the ruthless brother I’d known a year ago, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t see my confession as weakness and use it against me.
“That’s what it was?” He shook his head. “I knew something happened months ago to change you but couldn’t figure it out.”
“I’ll leave if you want.”
“Fuck no,” Chase said adamantly. “No Hunter. What happened wasn’t your fault. No one but you blames you. Really. I’ve been so grateful that you were there when Glen approached her the first time, and how you came right away when she went missing. How you stopped me from killing Glen so I didn’t have to go to prison. And now, to find out you’ve been keeping an eye on her—really, man, you’ve done so much.”
Something started to release in my chest and it made tears pool in my eyes, but I swallowed them. I wasn’t going to be a big pussy.
“You don’t have to watch her, though. I’ve got that covered.”
“James is only one man,” I said glad to move away from the more emotional aspects.
“He’s not the only one. And it’s not your job, Hunter. If you’re feeling some sort of need to watch her because of guilt, stop. Really. I don’t want you to feel that.”
The guilt wasn’t gone, and yet, I did feel like the weight of the world was lifted off of my chest.
I nodded.
“That was why, right? Because you felt you needed to make it up to her?”
I nodded. “I’m not in love with her.”
Chase laughed. “I didn’t think you were.”
I shrugged, feeling embarrassed by my comment. “Grace thought I was.”
“Grace. You mean Ms. Reynolds? She seems to be helping.”
“Yes.” There was a lot to tell him about what was actually going on, but I was emotionally whipped and decided it could wait.
“I’m glad, Hunter. It’s always broken my heart how the military affected you. I know you don’t give a shit about Dad’s new will, but I hope that maybe someday you’ll find peace and love. There is a magic to it, and I know that sounds ridiculous. If you try to use my saying that against me with Kade and Ash, I’ll deny saying it.”
I laughed. “It will stay between us.”
“Good.” He stood, and I rose to walk him out.
He surprised me by pulling me into a hug. “You were always my favorite little brother.”
