AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Tell me what’s on your mind, Allison.”
“I don’t think I’m going to come by here anymore, Jon.”
“OK,” I replied, putting down my fork and looking at her, waiting for the rest.
“You’re still in love with Rain. You always have been, and you always will be, in all likelihood. I’m getting older. I just turned thirty last week.”
I felt even more like crap. I hadn’t even remembered her birthday and couldn’t remember if I’d ever even asked when it was.
“I’m sorry, Allison. I missed your birthday,” I began to say, but she cut me off, raising her hand and waving it about dismissively.
“You’re a fool, Jon. If you love her, then stop running away from her.”
“I didn’t this time. She ran away from me.”
“Did she? Did she run away or did you drive her away?”
I considered this for a moment, thought about what she had said before sending me away. Perhaps Allison was right about that part. I had gotten scared and tried to blow off the seriousness of what was happening between us when I should have been embracing it. Rain had felt the distance and reacted to it.
“You can handle this, Jon. I know you are afraid. You’ve been afraid all your life. You put on this big, tough exterior, but underneath it all you’re just that same little boy who just lost his mother.”
The comment hit me hard, conjuring up an image of a gangly eight-year-old, holding his father’s hand and looking down into a hole where his mother would now remain. That boy was me. I had tossed a single rose down to bounce off the top of the vault surrounding the casket as tears fell down my face. Since then, I’d been so terrified of losing someone I loved I’d done whatever I could to keep them at a distance. My father and I had grown apart over the years, only recently finding some common ground and understanding. Rain had managed to get in, but she couldn’t stay. I was damaged, and I’d had a mistress she couldn’t compete with—a drug habit that had grown with each passing year until I hit bottom.
“You need to be honest with her. Tell her everything. Tell her where you went when you left her and how you looked for her when you came back. Tell her you love her. Tell her you want to spend your life with her. Jon, if you can’t tell her, you’ll never be able to tell anyone. You’ll always be alone.”
“What if it’s too late?” I asked.
Allison was perhaps the most awkward choice to have this conversation with, and yet, she knew me better than I knew myself, in some ways. I felt bad asking her to talk with me about Rain, but I trusted her advice.
“Too late? If sixteen years didn’t kill whatever it is the two of you have together, I doubt that a couple of weeks has done very much damage.” She smiled gently from across the table.
“Maybe,” I replied.
“Definitely.” She stood and picked up her plate to carry to the sink.
I followed her with my own but stopped her from washing them. “I’ll take care of that.”
“I’ll let you. I’m going to get going. It was good to see you, Jon. I’m going to let you go for a while, see what’s out there for me, but if you need me…need someone just to listen, then call me.”
“I will,” I told her, knowing that I probably wouldn’t. It wasn’t fair to her, and I could see that more clearly than ever now. “Thank you, Allison.”
“You’re welcome. Bye, Jon,” she said, giving me a peck on the cheek before turning to walk out of my life and rightly so.
Back in the house, I thought about what she said. Picking up the phone, I hit speed dial to call Rain’s number. I was surprised to hear the robotic operator reciting the standard message that the number had been disconnected. That was strange. I decided to just go to the house but found it all locked up. I realized that she had probably gone back to Los Angeles now that things here were under control.
I had no choice but to drive home, and the drive did nothing to clear my head. Back in my own house, I paced back and forth, then realized I had her business card somewhere. I pulled it out of a kitchen drawer and dialed the number for her clinic.
“I’d like to speak to Dr. Harper,” I said when a young lady answered the phone.
“Dr. Harper is no longer with the clinic.”
“What? Where did she go?”
“No idea. I can make you an appointment with Dr. Boatman, if you like. What is your pet’s name?”
“No. I need to speak to Dr. Harper. You don’t have a forwarding number or address for her?”
