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And Matt? I hadn’t heard from him either. And why would I have?
We’d agreed we’d be nothing more than a fling, and I’d try to push it further than that. If I’d left it as it was, perhaps none of this would have happened. I would still be the maid of honor.
Yeah, and you would still have broken her trust.
What had happened was unforgiveable.
But even now, I couldn’t quit thinking about Matt. Maybe this was all a good thing. He’d been a distraction. I’d wanted the opposite of him at the beginning of our time in the Bahamas. I’d been determined to keep him at arm’s length and focus on myself.
One night with him had erased all of that.
How weak was I?
Maybe it’s not about weakness. Maybe it’s about something else.
No. I didn’t want him for anything other than sex. That was all.
But even the thought sounded weak and soft in my mind. Unconvincing.
I dropped my bags by the door and then walked over to the windows. I drew the curtains back and gave myself a view of the lights in the distance. It was gorgeous.
Banging started up in my next-door neighbor’s apartment, and I sighed.
Shoot, I’d forgotten all about the little quirks that came with this place. The noise and the shouting, the fights from my neighbors, and the incessant barking from Mrs. Krimmel’s dog downstairs. The one she wasn’t supposed to have in the building.
God.
Back again. In the same place.
Nothing had changed.
I opened the windows to let in the breeze then walked through to my kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I unscrewed it and drank it down. This was a thing I’d always done. When I was sad, I drank water and in the weirdest way possible, and it stopped me from crying, maybe because my damn throat was occupied.
“Get it together,” I muttered, screwing on the cap.
I headed back into the living room and spent the next hour unpacking everything neatly, throwing dirty clothes into the laundry and trying to ignore the scent of Matt’s cologne that still clung to the dress I’d been wearing a couple nights ago.
“Over,” I reminded myself.
Tears built in the corners of my eyes again, and I swallowed.
I’d lost my best friend because of my dumbass lust. “Just stop,” I muttered.
I didn’t have a TV in my apartment, so I grabbed my laptop bag and headed through to the living room. I set myself up on the coffee table. Before I opened Netflix, I checked my email.
My eyes widened, and all the muscles in my body turned to gel.
The email was from Admissions at the drama school I’d applied to.
I swallowed. It’s just a rejection. That’s all. You’re not going to make it in. My finger swept across the pad, and I clicked and opened the email.
“Congratulations! You’ve been conditionally accepted into—”
I shut my eyes before I could read the rest of it. They’d accepted me. I had a feeling the conditions were the payment of the fees. And that was exactly the type of condition that would prevent me from attending the school.
I was an idiot. I should never have applied.
I’d just been accepted into the school I wanted to get into, the first step to finally changing my life, and there was nothing I could do to grab the opportunity.
That’s not true.
I could get another job. I opened my eyes. Yeah, that was what I’d do. I’d pick up a waitressing job and just run myself ragged until I had the funds. Surely, the school wouldn’t expect me to pay immediately. I had until the start of the next semester to come up with the funds.
I could do this.
With or without anybody else. It was just me now. And that would have to be enough.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Matt
The day of the wedding had come.
Fucking Valentine’s Day. The most romantic slash commercial day of the damn year. Jesus, you’re bitter. Of course I was. I was a dick, but I wasn’t such a dick that I couldn’t admit that I’d screwed up my sister’s friendship with Summer.
I was one hundred percent a part of the problem. And I had been unable to convince my sister to keep Summer in the wedding.
It didn’t seem to matter that only hours before she’d been completely distraught over the fact that her friend had been missing. She’d been untouched by it.
That was because Emilia was like me. Once someone had blown their shot with me, it was done. But a best friend she’d had for years? This was bullshit.
It’s too late for you to do anything. Summer’s already gone.
And it should’ve been better this way. Summer was out of my way too. The temptation was gone, and that was fine. It was fucking good.
Except you still can’t stop thinking about her.
“Matt?”
I blinked at my reflection in the mirror. I was in Scott’s room. He needed my help as the best man.
