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The crying continued.
I gritted my teeth. Clenched my fists.
Finally, I turned back to the door and knocked once. The noise inside the room ceased immediately.
I slipped into her bedroom and shut the door behind me.
Summer sat on her bed, the covers unruffled as if she hadn’t even tried to sleep. She wore PJ shorts and a strappy top, and her hair was loose, falling golden around her shoulders. Her sharp green eyes shifted. “W–what are you doing here?” she asked.
“I happen to live here,” I replied, quirking a smile. “Or did you forget?”
Summer grabbed a Kleenex and wiped her nose with it. She cleared her throat, her eyes puffy and red—she was still gorgeous. Perfect.
“That’s very funny, Matthew,” she said. “I meant in my room.”
“I heard noises.” Would it be wrong to tell her I’d heard her crying and it had worried me? Sure it fucking would be, because I didn’t worry about her. I wasn’t supposed to worry about her when she wasn’t family. And I didn’t want her.
Liar.
“So?”
“So, I thought I’d better check if you were OK.”
“You care if I’m OK?” she asked, blinking—like it was the most shocking thing in the world for me to care about her. Maybe it was. I’d played the rough persona for a long time.
Christ, it was to keep people out. Yet here I was trying to let her in. Her of all people.
I came forward slowly, trying not to notice how tight her shirt was or that I’d forgotten to put on a top when I’d left my bedroom. Summer’s gaze wandered over my chest, lingering in places it shouldn’t have. She bit her bottom lip.
I cleared my throat. “Do you need to, uh, talk about anything?”
“No.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. But you don’t have to…I mean, I’ll just talk to Emilia tomorrow.”
Emilia. My sister.
Fuck.
That was what made this all the more difficult. Summer was gorgeous, perfect, sexy, and she was totally out-of-bounds. She was the type of girl who didn’t settle for any old asshole, and most of the girls at my school thought I was exactly that type of jock asshole who broke girls’ hearts. They weren’t wrong. But I wasn’t about to break Summer’s heart.
I wasn’t about to go anywhere near her heart. Or chest. Or…fuck, this was dumb.
“You can talk to me,” I said, though I hadn’t meant to say a damn word.
Talk to me? Talk to the dude who wanted nothing more than to never say another word to anyone ever again. Not about feelings, at least. This was stupid.
“I—uh, are you sure?” Summer licked her lips.
“Yeah.”
“OK.” She shifted backward on her bed, twisting her rose-petal inked duvet as if to make space for me. Nope, yeah, she was definitely making space for me. To sit down. With her.
Don’t touch her. Keep your distance. You’ll be fine.
I walked over and sat down. “So,” I said. “What’s going on?”
Summer chewed on her lip again, and I pictured sweeping my fingers over her cheeks, appreciating the softness of her skin, and then kissing her. Claiming her. She would be mine and I would…be a total idiot.
“Yeah, well it’s just…I—it’s my birthday in a few days. I’m turning seventeen, and I just don’t want to be…”
“What?”
“Alone.”
My jaw clenched, teeth pressing into each other. “Alone,” I repeated.
“Yeah. I love being here, and your dad has been good to me, even after what happened. Emmy is awesome too, but it just feels like I’m the—and this might sound stupid, but I feel like I’m the ugly duckling or whatever. I don’t belong here.”
“What? Of course you do.” She’d lived with us for years now. Ever since her parents had abandoned her and slipped off into fucking alcoholism or drug addiction. Who the fuck knew where they were? Who cared? They were assholes. Most parents were assholes nowadays. But especially hers.
“No, I really don’t,” she said. “You and Emilia, you grew up like this. You get everything you want when you want it. You’re going to leave high school one day and be able to do whatever you want, but that’s not me. I don’t belong here.”
“Not true, Summer. You’re basically part of the family now.” It killed me to say that. I didn’t want her to be part of the family. It made my thoughts and feelings about her inappropriate. Not that they weren’t already, but it just made it worse.
She paused, dragging her teeth over that luscious bottom lip again. “You don’t know…everything.”
“So tell me.” I moved closer to her, keenly aware of just how big I was in comparison to her. She wasn’t short, but goddamn, she was smaller than me, and I liked that. I could easily tuck her against my chest and pepper her face with kisses. She would love that.
Would she? What are you thinking?
