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He looks at me with a soft glimpse in his eyes. Soft and almost mischief. Before I can understand the meaning on his look, I find myself on my back, and my wrists are cuffed with the handcuffs I’ve attached.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I shout at him.
He chuckles and looks back at my feet. “Do you have more of these handcuffs or something to tie your feet, too?”
“Don’t you fucking dare! You can’t do this to me,” I yell. I’m getting desperate and scared. Every haunting memory from my past where I don’t have control hits my body and puts me into a panicked mode, where I can’t decide if I should fight or give up.
I hardly realize when Nick comes back with leather cuffs to tie my ankles. I’m thrashing, screaming on the bed, trying to get free, but he’s fucking strong, and he ties my ankles one by one, and he straddles my hips. Now, I’m lying on the bed with tears in my eyes and fear in my heart.
“Stop moving. You’ll hurt yourself, just keep still. I won’t hurt you. I’ll never hurt you, Nikki. You know it, you know me.”
“I don’t fucking know you. I knew the teenager, not the man in front of me.”
He leans down, peppering my face with kisses. “The teenager Nick wasn’t strong enough to keep you safe. He was a useless kid who let bad things happen to you,” he whispers. Sitting up on his knees, he motions his body. “But this man is strong enough to keep you from everything that will hurt you. This man will do anything to make you happy. This man, Nikki, will move the Earth from its axis to make you forget everything you’ve been through.”
“I don’t want to forget.”
He snorts. “Of course, you do. You’re just too scared of letting your pain go. Let me make it up to you. Let me please you.”
I glare at him. “Do I have a fucking choice?”
“Nope.” He grins.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Not as much as you did. At least, not yet.”
“I don’t want you,” I grit out.
He quirks his eyebrow and leaves the room. After a few minutes, he comes back with a cloth in his hand.
“What are you doing?”
“I’ll clean you up. Such a gentleman I am, right? Oh, and I fed Night.”
“How do you know his name is Night?”
“I know more about you than you think.”
I glare. That’s the only thing I can do right now anyway. “Right, your creepy stalking hobby.”
He winks and cleans between my legs with utmost care. When he’s done, he leans into my face and whispers, “You said you didn’t want me, right?”
Gritting my teeth, I nod.
“Good. Then, don’t let me find you wet when I reach your pussy.”
“Do your worst,” I grit out, but I know he’ll find me wet. Fuck, I’m already getting wet with just seeing him above me.
He pulls down the zipper of my bustier slowly, revealing my skin inch by inch to his eyes, and his eyes get hungrier with every inch. Finally, he pulls off the leather around my body. His gaze zeroed in on my tattoo. He touches my stomach with his knuckles, caressing the angry scar tissue under the ink.
“Don’t. Please,” I choke out. This is the only thing I can’t get used to. I can live with everything that has happened to me, but this is the only thing that hurts like the first day, maybe even more with the knowledge that motherhood was ripped away from my hands. I’ll never be a mother, and this is something I didn’t even have a chance to consider let alone want, but it’s taken away from me. Along with the little angel who was growing inside me.
“Look at me,” he whispers, and I didn’t even realize I’ve closed my eyes until he tells that.
Opening my eyes, I look at him with blurry vision. The blur fades when he wipes away my tears.
He places his hand under his chest.
