AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m rarely at my apartment.” And with Xìnyùn there, his apartment was no longer silent.
“Maybe the reason Vivian isn’t living in your apartment is that no woman would want to be subjected to that tomb.”
Karl’s head snapped up so quickly he got a headache and the oppressive wood paneling in the conference room blurred.
“Ah, you’ve never considered that Vivian’s ‘no’ might be permanent. And, from the horror on your face, you’re afraid to confess your feelings because she might turn you down. And that might suck.”
Karl folded his arms on the table, finally giving up any pretense of reviewing the staff attorney’s notes. “You’re right that she didn’t commit the felony she was fired for. Middle Kingdom could never prove she cheated because she didn’t. And I believe her. But that’s not the issue.”
“What is the issue?”
He sighed. Malcolm was right that he didn’t have anyone to talk with about this, but he didn’t want to talk with anyone about this. But Malcolm was also probably right that he needed to talk with someone before he exploded.
“Her father came to her for money because he lost more than he could repay while playing poker. Vivian agreed to the scheme and then changed her mind at the last minute.”
“People have committed felonies for less compelling reasons. Does she regularly help her father out with such schemes?”
“No.” Karl thought about the conversations he’d overheard her have with her father. “I gather she sends him money when he asks, but also tries to avoid hearing him ask. She keeps him at arm’s length as much as possible.”
“So, she has a scheming father, but is otherwise all sweetness and light.”
Karl stood up so he could shut the door. Talking this over with Malcolm was one thing. The entire office hearing it was another. “The lesson she seems to have learned from her father is that schemes don’t pay and an honest living is better.” Her father’s schemes had cost her dearly twice that Karl knew of—first her college fund and then her livelihood. Of course, it was the rare child who watched their parents’ mistakes and didn’t repeat them even as they tried to do something differently.
“So, what’s your problem?” Malcolm looked confused.
“I understand why she considered cheating. And I appreciate that she didn’t cheat—I respect her for that. But I think I would even understand if she had cheated.” He thought back to what he remembered about the waste of Melville’s “Billy Budd,” when those who had been responsible for dispensing justice had chosen to not understand and what a tragedy that had been. Was that why he had decided to pick up the book again?
“But if I forgive my wife for being willing to let her moral standards slip because her father was in hot water, how do I hold a man accountable when he took a bribe because his salary won’t pay his wife’s hospital bills?” The words sounded so simplistic, but his arteries clamped around his heart as he said them. “I’m not talking about the alderman who’s trading favors for the extra slice of power or a few more pennies in her campaign fund, but the guy just trying to live his life.”
His entire worldview had been snapped in two. And there was no clamp that would fix that rend. The confession exhausted Karl so completely that he had to take a seat in one of the damned squeaky chairs before he fell over and further humiliated himself.
“Ah,” Malcolm said with understanding. “You’ve worked with corporate lawyers and inspector generals, but you’ve not had enough interaction with law enforcement to know your problem isn’t unique.”
“Of course it’s not unique,” Karl snapped.
Malcolm kept talking as if Karl hadn’t just splintered into pieces. “But in your favor is the fact that the gray world you’ve happened upon will make you better at what you do. Maybe the guy taking bribes because he’s trying to keep his wife alive is guilty, but he’s not guilty in the same way as the alderman. You can be understanding of the first guy’s motivations while still believing he’s guilty. Life in the gray is harder, but it’s more rewarding. And more fair. Compassion can only help you.”
