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Karl looked back at Vivian, who had added Father Ramirez and Mrs. Czaja to her circle. Whatever she was saying to them made Mrs. Czaja giggle and grab hold of her husband’s arm. Vivian looked as though she’d been a part of the Archer Heights community for years, not just a couple of weeks.
“She’s not a permanent solution, Mom.”
“I thought I raised you better than to be one of those husbands who didn’t want their wives to work after they had children. It should be a family decision.”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to live in Chicago.” The thought of Vivian moving away gave him heartburn, even without wondering what would happen to their child. But she had no ties other than him in Chicago, and before their night of near lovemaking they’d bandied the word divorce between them like kids playing an easy game of catch. In truth, he knew that night of near lovemaking had changed the tone of their relationship to something softer. Something that might tie them together, not simply for the sake of the child, but for the sake of each other.
Then he’d found out why she had been fired and hurled the word divorce at her like he was a major league pitcher and she was still playing T-ball. When he’d said it, he’d made it ugly, rather than matter-of-fact. Not to mention the accusations he’d heaped upon her in front of his family. If she gave birth, arranged visitation rights with the baby and then headed off to Alaska, he wouldn’t be surprised.
“Karl.” His mother’s voice lowered into a lecturing tone he hadn’t heard since high school. Not even during his divorce from Jessica had she pulled that tone out for him. “It is your responsibility to make sure that child doesn’t grow up without a father’s guiding hand.”
“I grew up without my father.”
Her face tightened and she looked as if she was about to slap him. A slap he would richly deserve. He had lost his father when he was sixteen and felt the gaping hole in his life each and every day. To inflict that on a child because he refused to make an effort to be nicer to the mother was unjustifiable.
Karl allowed himself the satisfaction of closing his eyes. The problem wasn’t his duty to the child. He knew what he owed his child. The problem was how to negotiate his responsibility for his child with his relationship with Vivian and her pink lips and near felony.
When he looked at his mom again, tears were welling in her eyes. Tears his thoughtless words had caused. Perfect son, my ass. Apparently when he failed, he failed spectacularly. “I’m sorry for what I said. Every time I think I’ve reconciled myself to having a pregnant wife, I learn something about her that kicks me right back on my ass.”
“If Pawel were still alive, he would throw you over his knee and smack your behind for the sentiment.” She sniffed.
“I am sorry, Mother. It was thoughtlessly said. You’re right, of course. I have a responsibility to both my child and my father’s memory not to be an absentee father.”
He looked over at his wife, who was waving goodbye to the Czajas. She pulled at his soul. Not her pink lips, not the knobs of her spine and not her small breasts that his palms carried the memory of. Vivian attracted him. Her very essence—which was what made his attraction so frightening.
Lust could be rationalized away. Of course he lusted after Vivian. She was an attractive woman. But to be interested in her as a person, knowing why she had been fired and being appalled that she could have even gotten herself into that position in the first place—that was a different kettle of fish. An unacceptable, stinking, rotting kettle of fish. He had a responsibility to be against all forms of corruption and cheating, and his inner conflict only weakened him.
“It’ll be okay.” His mom patted him on the shoulder. The pity in her eyes should’ve been shocking, but instead felt inevitable. No matter how stoic he kept his face, she was his mother.
Karl walked over to his wife, taking care to note how the pull on his body eased with each deliberate step, until he was next to her and felt both relaxed and tense at the same time. The smile she greeted him with started out shy before widening into an open, honest grin.
“Hi there.” God, he’d missed the spiciness of her voice and the way it washed over his entire body. “It’s nice of you to come for dinner on your mom’s first day back. She was hoping you’d come.”
