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“It’s late. We should go to bed.” He still had questions for her, but she would be here in the morning.
“I’m sorry about tonight,” she said behind another yawn.
“Don’t be too sorry, or I’ll think you’ve changed your mind.” He wanted her to change her mind.
She shook her head. “I kept telling myself I’m already pregnant and the horse is out of the barn, but it’s not enough to make up for me being here and dependent on you.”
They’d had much the same thoughts, only he’d let the heat of passion overwhelm practicality. Vivian had occupied nearly all of his thoughts since she’d arrived, and it would’ve been a relief to know how accurate his imagination was. Then he could come up with new fantasies.
“My reassurance that your housing and health care didn’t come with a cost wasn’t enough?” He knew it wasn’t enough. It wouldn’t have been enough for him and he respected her more for it.
“When I have a job of my own, and my own apartment, then that will be enough.”
“Why haven’t you applied for one of the jobs at the casinos?” They’d talked about the jobs she’d applied for and what she was interested in doing. Not once had she mentioned applying for a riverboat casino position.
“I’ve worked in casinos since I was eighteen, and I grew up around them. I’d like to try something new.”
Ah, there was the guilty look, he thought, when she turned toward the window, but he was suddenly too worn out by emotion to pursue it. Like his other questions, this one could wait until morning.
CHAPTER NINE
“DAD, I’M ASKING you again, where is my money?” Vivian heard herself shriek the words and quickly lowered her voice before she woke up Karl.
“It’s not my fault,” her father pleaded. Nothing was ever his fault. “How was I supposed to leave Las Vegas with no money?”
“How was I supposed to live in Las Vegas with no money, especially after you got me fired?” She shared responsibility for getting fired, but blaming her father seemed fair since he wouldn’t take responsibility for anything else.
“You’ve managed before. You’re resourceful.”
“Resourceful?” Of course that’s how he would see her. Good ol’ Vivian. It’s the first day of school in a new town, but she doesn’t need her dad to help her register for classes. There’s no food in the house, but he needs to meet with the guys because “it’s gonna be big.” She’ll figure it out because she’s resourceful. Go ahead, gamble away the college fund she worked and scrimped to save. She’ll get to college anyway, because she always manages.
Apparently she hadn’t managed well enough. She’d registered for school and gotten them groceries, but she’d never made college happen. A random series of college courses taken when she had the money didn’t make a college degree. All it made was a table dealer who’d read Homer and taken calculus.
All her dreams of college and getting a good, respectable job—developed out of the scares of years spent in a world that hoped for one big score to fix all problems—lost in a card game.
Marriage and pregnancy had gotten her out of Las Vegas, but not in the way she had wanted. She hadn’t earned her way into this beautiful apartment through hard work, and neither had she loved her way here with the man of her dreams. She’d slept her way into this apartment, and the truth of it broke her heart. But she couldn’t leave, because outside of this apartment was a quicksand world of unstable housing and unemployment. She hadn’t loved Las Vegas, but at least she’d been on stable ground there.
“Yeah. I heard you were fired and aren’t even in Vegas anymore. You must have figured something out, though.”
“I could be in a homeless shelter somewhere, or out on the street begging for money. What do you know?” What do you care?
“But you’re not. I know you’re not because you’re…”
“Resourceful. I know. You’ve said it before.”
“I’ve almost got all the money to pay these guys back. Then I only need one more big hit to pay you back. I’ll pay all of it back to you, Vivy, I swear.” I swear this is a sure thing. By next year, you won’t even need financial aid to help with college. We’ll pay your way through any school you want.
