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When Karl bounced the book this time, his hands slipped and the paperback bobbed off his chin. Clearly it was time for sleep and not confused thinking about a Victorian writer—or Karl’s wife.
He put the book back on his nightstand and turned off his lamp before he could change his mind. Karl flipped over onto his other side so that he faced away from the book. The other half of the bed was empty, unfortunately, and when he stuck his legs out the sheets were cold. Despite the shock of it keeping him awake, he left his legs there.
He wanted to sleep. He needed to sleep. But he’d had an epiphany he still wasn’t sure what to do with.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
SUSAN HAD ENGINEERED this week’s family dinner so that Karl would be an hour early. Plenty of time, she had said, for Vivian to discuss her plan to buy out Healthy Food. Vivian had gone to the library during her time off and researched restaurant business plans. She and Susan had estimated the present value of Healthy Food and estimated its value in ten years, when Susan planned to retire. Together they had worked out different buyout plans, along with some classes that would benefit Vivian and a list of things she would need to learn from Susan at Healthy Food. Fortunately, neither of those was how to cook; Susan hadn’t cooked in the kitchen in years. Vivian was a good cook, but she didn’t think she was up to the burden of cooking in a professional kitchen.
When Karl swept into the house through the kitchen door, Vivian was waiting for him with coffee and a variety of kolaczki. He stilled, looking uncharacteristically uncertain hovering in the doorway for a moment before greeting Vivian with an obligatory kiss on the cheek and sitting down at the table.
They’d shared intimate touches and little kisses as though they were really husband and wife, each touch feeling both natural and fake. More Karl fulfilling his duties to his wife, Vivian supposed, rather than because he wanted to. She wanted them to be fully real. She wanted their marriage to be fully real.
“Am I the first one here?”
“Your sisters won’t be here for another hour.” She pushed a folder over to him. “I have something to discuss with you.”
God, this felt like a business meeting rather than a discussion between husband and wife about their future. How much of that was her fault? Karl wanted her back in his apartment, living as his wife. She just wasn’t willing to agree to his terms. And what an ugly word that was—terms. As if their very relationship had to be negotiated. You say “I love you” and I’ll give up on my request that you stop judging me for my past.
Only it seemed the cost of being husband and wife was too dear for each of them. Each had to give up some essence of who they were. Or, in Vivian’s case, who she had learned she could be.
The folder made no sound as Karl slid it toward himself. “I thought we were waiting to discuss the divorce until you had a job that could support you. And health insurance.”
He didn’t open the folder. Just rested his hand on it, like he was holding down a dragon.
“This isn’t about the divorce.” Of course he would assume it was about the divorce. She’d be mad, but she’d told him straight-out that she wasn’t interested in a real marriage until he could honestly say he wasn’t judging her past and that he loved her. Since he hadn’t stopped actively disapproving of her, divorce would be the next logical step in their relationship.
Vivian was through making logical decisions. She wanted a relationship with Karl built on something other than sex and the child she was carrying. “I want to buy Healthy Food,” she said. He raised his brow at her, as well he should, given that she had no money to speak of. “In about ten years, when Susan retires,” she clarified.
He didn’t say anything, but bent over the folder, opened it and read every word on every page. Halfway through, he reached for his coffee cup and a kolaczki. Vivian tried not to fidget. She and Susan had worked out many scenarios for her takeover of Healthy Food. Some of them included help from Karl. Most of them didn’t. Still, even if she didn’t need his financial help, she wanted his support. Married or not, living together or not, Healthy Food was part of his heritage. She wanted to believe he would support her in this. That maybe he trusted her—just a little more than he said he did.
