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“Spark’s different,” he said, though he couldn’t say why.
Which, of course, meant she asked, “Why?”
“Because it’s not judging people,” he insisted, though of course it was. His arguments were dissolving the ground from under his feet. He felt unstable, but to stop insisting he was right felt like a bigger risk.
She barked out a laugh. “It’s absolutely judging people. Hers is math. Yours is metaphysical. While she was deciding that you didn’t meet hers, you were deciding that she didn’t meet yours, either.”
She was right, so he sighed. It was easier than admitting he was wrong. “It still hurt.”
“Of course it did.” She shrugged. “And maybe I’m wrong about what Marsie was doing with those algorithms. Maybe she was judging you and finding you wanting, and what you discovered on those pages was that your future would end when she realized that she shouldn’t settle.”
He winced.
“But you won’t know until you ask her,” Jill said. “And I told her fifteen minutes, so you’d probably better speed if you’re going to make good on my promise.”
Jill hadn’t needed to say that. Jason was already reaching for his keys and heading out the door.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
A KNOCK ON the driver’s window made Marsie jump and she had to squint before her half-asleep brain caught up with what she was seeing outside the car.
Not what.
Who.
“Jason.” She scrambled forward, reaching for the car unlock button and hitting the lock button first. Then she hit the window buttons, which did nothing with her dead battery.
Finally she got her door open, breathless and feeling a little stupid.
“Someone call for a jump?” Jason said with a smile. Under different circumstances, she would imagine he was making a silly joke.
But that’s not the place they were at now.
And, in reality, she didn’t wish Jason hadn’t found the algorithm. Relationships were better when honest, and those algorithms were an honest part of her. She just wished she’d had a chance to tell him herself. To maybe better explain and let him see that evaluating things was just what she did.
If he was here, might she have a chance to explain?
“Um, I called for a ride, but I’ll take a jump. It’s a Prius, so I’m not sure if there are different rules for jumping it. Or even if the battery is dead. Can the battery die?”
His hands were folded across his chest as he evaluated her. He was wearing a red-and-white-striped rugby shirt that showed off the breadth of his shoulders. “I’ll be honest. I know nothing about cars. I’m supposed to, I’m sure, since I’m a fix-it kinda guy, but cars have never really interested me. I can change the oil in my truck, but I choose not to.”
“I don’t have jumper cables,” she confessed. “I’ve been meaning to buy some. For years.”
“A slight flaw in your otherwise perfect planning,” he said with a nod. “When’s your birthday?”
“What?” She was lost. Sitting in her car in the parking lot of her office with the man she loved, and she had no idea where she was.
Being lost wasn’t as scary as she’d imagined. Not with Jason here.
“I’ll get you jumper cables for your car for your birthday.” He looked a little sheepish. “But I don’t know when it is.”
“I don’t know when your birthday is, either. When we were work buddies, it didn’t seem important.”
“And we’re not work buddies now.” It wasn’t a question.
“No. I’m not sure we ever can be again.”
“Can we be more?”
Was there a word more lost than lost? Adrift?
Vulnerable?
“I think that’s something you need to answer,” she said finally.
“How about I give you a ride home?”
“I’d like that.” She paused, not entirely sure of her footing. “Can we keep talking? About being more?”
“Yes. That’s what I’m here for.” He held out his hand and she took it. He pulled her out of the car, not quite against him, but close. “And to give you a ride home, of course. I would do that even if we sat in silence.”
